Baby On The Way

Ella at 18 and 19 months

2009-01-26T08:52:00.000-08:00

Ella had her 18-month check-up in early January, and it went very well.

Weight: 24.5 pounds (50%)
Height: 32" (55%)
Head circumference: 90%
(Percentiles show where Ella is ranked relative to a large sample of children her age.)

She's adding new words to her vocabulary (car, please), learning how to use the phone (when she hears someone answer their end of the phone, she'll say "hi"), and is just starting to put words together to make phrases like "one more" and "please up". She makes the corresponding animal sound when we say "cow", "dog", "cat", "snake" and "lion".

She enjoys dressing up, and her grandmother Moira, sent her a darling fairy costume for Christmas. You can see it in action here:
Ella in Fairy Costume from /ella jean. on Vimeo.

Shown below is a picture of Ella and Oona in princess and fairy costumes, respectively.

Moira also sent her a musical toy, and Ella loves to watch and listen to it. The first time we introduced her to the toy was in October when Michael brought it back from his visit to family in Australia:
Ella admiring Jemima the Duck from /ella jean. on Vimeo.

Here are other pictures of Ella taken in the fall and winter of 2008 and this month (January, 2009). I had one celebrity sighting on the trip home to California for Christmas. When we were waiting for our luggage at the baggage claim, a girl complimented Ella on her big blue eyes. The girl asked me how old Ella was, and I realized it was Monica Lewinsky! She is prettier in real life than she looked in photographs and on television.

Harvest Festival

2008-10-19T11:16:00.000-07:00

Today my father, Ella and I went to the Park Slope Harvest Festival at JJ Byrne Park. Ella had her first pony ride and fed the pony and a small goat. I thought she might cry or ask to get off when the guide took her from my arms to put her on the back of the pony, but she was content to ride. I think I may have been more excited about the ride than she was.

Anniversary weekend

2008-10-19T11:09:00.000-07:00

Michael, Ella and I went to Santa Barbara to visit my parents and friends in September on our second wedding anniversary. We made a trip to the beach, and Ella loved the water, even though it wasn't an overly warm day and the water was cold.

New Pool

2008-07-26T19:10:00.000-07:00

Ella tried the new inflatable baby pool today. She had a good time.

SAHM

2008-07-16T07:21:00.000-07:00

Staying home with a child is one of the hardest things to do (for me). A rough day at home makes any bad day I had during my working career look like no big deal.

Yesterday was one of 'those' days, when nothing seemed to go right. Ella is fussy about eating solid food (again), and melted down completely when I put her in her high chair for mealtimes, if I talked on the phone, if I left the room for more than a few minutes, etc. She was tired as well, so the only thing she wanted to do was nurse. Her naps were truncated, probably because she hadn't eaten enough food. I was tired and tried to nap when she napped, but she woke up after 40 minutes so I didn't sleep.

Amanda and Oona came over in the middle of the day to keep us company for awhile (they were having a similar type of day), and still, Ella and Oona were somewhat out of sorts, though they played alongside each other and tried to out-squeal one another a few times. When Oona ate, I tried to feed Ella, but she cried and refused food. Amanda tried to watch Ella while I made some phone calls upstairs, and Ella cried so much that I gave up.

By 3:30 in the afternoon, Ella was complaining a lot again (wouldn't eat any food I offered and wanted to be held). I put her in her stroller and tried to get ready to go out to the park, and she carried on crying while in the stroller in the entryway. I snapped.

I yelled at her ("stop crying!") which made her pause for a minute, and then really cry when she saw that I was angry. This made me even more frustrated, and I shouted again at her. She was crying in earnest now, and when I saw how upset she was, I realized that I scared her, and I took her out of the stroller, sat on the stairs with her in my lap, and all she wanted to do was nurse. Within 5 minutes, she was asleep in my arms, so I put her in her crib and she slept for an hour (from 4-5 pm).

I called her pediatrician and he suggested I cut out all breastfeeding during the daytime and encourage her to eat three meals a day. He said it will be "hell for a week or so", but she needs to understand that there are specific windows of time by which food will be offered, and she needs to eat solid food if she wants to address her hunger.

He feels she's not eating food because she'd prefer to nurse, although nursing does not provide her with enough calories to maintain her growth. I agree with this, but dread going cold-turkey because eating solids is already a source of a lot of crying, and the peaceful nap strategy we've had for months will also disappear. Can I handle 5-6 bouts of crying (around mealtimes and naps) for some unknown number of days in a row (in addition to crying when she wants to nurse at random times)?

Can I mentally stand the crying and the lack of sleep and the unhappiness? I'm not sure.

I am going to postpone starting this until the weekend when Michael will be home and can help distract her from wanting to nurse for at least to the first two days of this new phase.

Ice Cream with Golden

2008-07-14T19:33:00.000-07:00

Today Golden was feeling really good. Jen called me while Ella was down for her midday nap and invited us to meet them for ice cream. As soon as Ella opened her eyes, we hustled out the door to rendezvous at a new ice cream place on 16th Street near PPW.

On the way there, Ella and I passed the actor John Corbett standing the street (-our second celebrity sighting in the last several weeks)*.

Golden went to the hospital this morning for a check-up and Jen said his numbers (blood counts) were some of the best he's had since he was diagnosed with LCH in December. It was clear when we met them that he was feeling great; he was smiling, waving and watching cars and trucks go by.

Although eating is a challenge for these kids (for different reasons), you wouldn't have guessed if you saw them polishing off their ice creams today. Since Golden and Ella were both holding up well, we went for a stroll along the park. It was a beautiful day and great to see Golden (and Jen) smiling.

* Two weeks ago, we passed Maggie Gyllenhaal and her hubby, Peter Sarsgard, walking on 6th Avenue in Park Slope.

First Finger Painting

2008-07-13T08:12:00.000-07:00

Saturday, July 13, started as a dream day. Ella slept in until 6 a.m. (a luxury!), and napped well (2 hours in the a.m!). The midday nap didn't go as well and she woke up cranky. We decided to head to Amanda's since new scenery and other small people to play with are two good remedies for crankiness. Oona was having the same sort of afternoon as Ella, so there was double the crankiness, but the girls generally enjoy being together, and getting out of the apartment is a good change of pace. After they splashed for awhile in the baby pool, we decided to try finger painting with them.

Ella enjoyed putting her fingers in each of the paint containers, as well as putting the lids in her mouth (non-toxic paint). Oona didn't dig the scene much at all and wasn't up for painting. Since it was getting cool in the yard, we canned the painting idea, dried them off and brought them indoors to play. They were happiest then, walking, talking, squealing, and playing with Oona's push and pull toys. The compilation above was made by Amanda, and the caption she wrote under it says "One of these children would very much prefer not to get dirty".

Old Videos

2008-07-10T06:08:00.000-07:00

Ella bouncing in Jumperoo from /ella jean. on Vimeo.

Ella in the Jumperoo at 7 months.

Clicking & Typing

2008-07-06T18:30:00.000-07:00

For a couple of weeks now, Ella has been holding objects (the TV remote, the ceiling fan remote, our cell phones) up to her ear and 'talking'. She jabbers in her unique language but the pitch of her voice goes up and down and whatever she is saying seems to take awhile. She is talking on the 'phone' like her parents...

When Michael or I are sitting in front of our computer, she is quick to climb into our lap and participate. Initially she used to bang on the keyboard with her fists, but lately she has started to move the mouse and click like she's observed us doing. She hasn't figured out the relationship of the mouse to the cursor on the screen, but we wouldn't be surprised if she figures it out in the next month or two.

Ella typing. from /ella jean. on Vimeo.

Posted here are videos of Ella at the computer and Michael on the Nintendo wii Fit doing a hula-hoop test.

Michael hoola-hooping. from /ella jean. on Vimeo.

First Drawing

2008-06-29T19:47:00.001-07:00

Crayon on paper, 29 June 2008.

Nicknames

2008-06-28T20:23:00.001-07:00

Bean (pre-natal)
Ella Bella
Budgie budgie
Monkey
Bunny (good bunny)

Happy FIRST Birthday!

2008-06-28T16:15:00.001-07:00

June has been a big month for Ella.

In addition to a great visit with her grandparents and Uncle Ben, we had two parties to celebrate Ella and her friends' birthdays.

The first was the June Babies Group Party on Sunday, June 15th, at Amanda's house.

Pictured are the moms and babies sitting on the sofa in the living room at Amanda's house from left to right:
Amanda+stand-in (Oona was asleep), Melissa+Ella, Anneka+Henry, Shenan+Soren, Sarah+Alice, Nikki+Stella.
Also pictured are the dads and babies from left to right:
Jimmy+stand-in (Oona was asleep), Bryan+Henry, Michael+Ella, Nate+Alice, Nelsen+Soren, Pratik+Stella.

We had a party for Ella on the actual date of her birthday, Friday, June 20th, at Prospect Park. In addition to Michael and my parents from California, other guests included Maryanne, Ella's babysitter, Carrie Diamond and her son Jack (6 months), Rebecca Fausel and her daughter Eliza (11 months), Leonie Lewis and her children Ashley (4 yrs old) and Brody (1 year), Keri Altman and Naomi (1 year), and Amanda Kavanagh and Oona (1 year).

The New York Metropolitan Opera was rehearsing for a performance in the park later that same evening, and the rehearsal took place during the party. Throughout the afternoon, we were serenaded with duets from famous operas by world-class opera singers as they rehearsed for the evening's performance (see program pictured above)! Click on the program to see the details.

It was a great party, and Ella enjoyed being in the park surrounded by friends and family. When we got home around 530 p.m., she sat at the table and ate dinner with a birthday hat on, and went to bed shortly afterward without complaint.

She Passed with Flying Colors

2008-06-26T14:19:00.001-07:00

Ella had her one-year doctor appointment today, and Dr. Sarnoff gave her a good review.

Weight: 20 lbs 6 ounces
Height: 29.75 inches
Head circumference: 46.5 centimeters

He said she's in perfect health and is back in line with the growth curve by which children her age are tracked. She weighed 19 pounds at 8 months, and 19 pounds 3 ounces at 10 months, so Dr. Sarnoff had been concerned (at 10 months) that she wasn't progressing well on the rate of weight gain. Now she is back in line with where she should be relative to other children in her percentile bracket, and he is satisfied that she's eating enough, so Michael and I are relieved.

Here's a brief summary of Ella's activities so far:
+ walks independently
+ picks things off the floor and can stand up from a sitting position without holding on
+ holds each of her feet up to allow me to put her shoes on while she's standing up
+ climbs the stairs with her hands and feet, and sits down on each step to descend
+ says "ma ma", "da da", "hiiiii"
+ waves bye bye
+ sometimes greets strangers with a handshake
+ bops ('dances') to music, tries to sing along to familiar songs and tunes (with single syllables....)
+ plays ball with people
+ responds to most of our directions: "can I have that, please?", "Sit down", "Can you put that in the garbage?", "Come find me", etc.
+ "talks" a lot
+ plays games: peekabo; pushing her wagon into my ankles to get a laugh; walking back and forth between Michael and me to give us hugs (repeating many times); playing ball; putting foreheads together; trying sunglasses on together in front of the mirror
+ enjoys 'Music Together' and swim classes
+ focused on getting into cabinets, drawers and baskets and emptying them
+ likes to move furniture (pushing chairs)...

Ella's Travel Log - Year One

2008-06-15T04:55:00.000-07:00

1st Subway trip: July, 2007, to visit SOHO with Moira for a 1/2 day of shopping (5 weeks old)

1st car trip (overnight): August, 2007, to Montauk, NY with Moira to attend Sheila's birthday beach party (6 weeks old).

1st airplane trip: October, 2007, to Columbus, OH, to visit Birgitta and kids (3.5 months old)

2nd airplane trip: October, 2007, to California, to visit my parents (4 months old)

3rd airplane trip: December, 2007, to California to visit family for the holidays (6 months old)

4th airplane trip: December 07 - Jan 08, to Australia to introduce Ella to family and friends (6 months old)

5th airplane trip: April, 2008, to Fort Lauderdale for a weekend Australian Football trip (10 months old)

2nd car trip: June, 2008, to Boston, MA for Ben's Harvard graduation; Hanover, NY for Ben's Dartmouth graduation (11+ months old)

6th airplane trip: June, 2008, to West Palm Beach, FL, to visit Elvy & Norm Birch and go to the beach with Sonja and Frank (Grammy & Grandpa). 11+ months old.

Racking up the miles

2008-06-15T01:17:00.000-07:00

Over the past twelve days, Ella has traveled to Boston, MA, Hartford, CT (by car), and Lantana, FL (by plane).

We attended Ben's graduation from Harvard (weather was cold and rainy) and Dartmouth (weather over 100 degrees F and sunny). One of the pictures above shows us immediately after the Dartmouth graduation (from left to right: Melissa, Ella, Sonja, Natalie, Ben, Bridget, Dad). We didn't pack clothes that were warm enough for Boston or dressy enough for Dartmouth (dress code suggested dresses for women, and neither my mom nor I brought dresses or skirts on the trip).

My cousins John, Paul, Anna and their kids joined us for the Dartmouth graduation and dinner afterward (picture).

Ben doesn't do anything halfway. Both graduations were impressive, and he now has three masters degrees... With his experience, education and brains, he's well-armed to ascend the ranks of management quickly at Google when he starts later this summer.

Ella was a good soldier on all legs of the trips. We were dreading the 5+ hour car trip from CT back to NY (she has proven she can scream for up to 50 minutes in her car seat before crashing into sleep), but she didn't scream once.

My parents, Ella and I spent 3 days in Lake Worth, FL, visiting my mom's Aunt Elvy & Uncle Norm in the Finnish-American Rest Home and enjoying daily trips to the beach. Ella loved the beach. When we'd get near the surf, she'd squirm to be put down, and once on her feet, would head straight for the water (and walk right into the waves). She was fearless.

The warm Atlantic ocean in Florida makes it easy to want to swim.

Ella has 6 teeth now: the front four teeth on the top, and two front teeth on the bottom, with more coming this week. She's been walking for about six weeks, and improving her stability every week. The week of Ben's graduations, her confidence improved a lot with all the extra family members around. She started doing u-turns and bending down to pick up objects and stand up again without holding on to anything for support.

Yesterday, while lying in bed wishing we could sleep longer (Ella has been waking up around 5 or 5:30 a.m. ), we realized we now hear the pitter patter of bare feet on the wood floors...a milestone that crept up on us and caused Michael & my father to hurry to the store to buy a second safety gate for bottom of the staircase. (We have one installed at the top already.) Ella loves to climb the stairs with or without help, but has

5 Teeth

2008-05-01T12:17:00.000-07:00

If you click on the photos, you'll see larger versions with more detail. First time using a toothbrush (her first toothbrush!). She has a cold and cough so her nose has been running all day.

First Steps!

2008-04-30T16:14:00.000-07:00

Tonight the three of us were in her room playing with a ball before bedtime, and it rolled away from her into a corner. She held my hand for support to walk toward the ball, but since I was sitting on the floor, my arm didn't extend far enough to allow her to reach the ball. We stopped holding hands, and she paused for a moment on her feet as though she was checking her balance, and then carried on walking by herself for a few steps to get the ball! 10 months and 10 days old.

June Babies Group Meeting today

2008-04-29T17:17:00.000-07:00

This week's mothers group met at our place today. Here are two videos taken this afternoon.

June Babies from /ella jean. on Vimeo.

In the video below, the order goes (from left to right): Henry, Matteo, Stella, Ella, Soren, Naomi and Oona. All the babies wore their "Golden Child" t-shirts in honor of Thomas Golden Randolph, who is a charter member of the group and the only guy missing from the original 8.

Golden Children from /ella jean. on Vimeo.

Ella's Progress

2008-04-25T10:29:00.000-07:00

06/20/07: weight 7 lbs 14 oz height 20"

06/25/07: weight 7 lbs 11 oz.

06/28/07: weight 7 lbs 13 oz. height 20" head cir 35.5 cm

07/05/07: weight 8 lbs 2 oz.

07/17/07: weight 9 lbs 2 oz

07/26/07: weight 10 lbs 1 oz; height 22"

08/20/07: weight 12 lbs 4 oz; height 23.25" head cir 40 cm

09/19/07: weight 15 lbs 1 oz; height 24" head cir 41 cm

10/25/07: weight 16 lbs 6 oz; height 25.5" head cir 43 cm

02/20/08: weight 19 lbs 0 oz; height 28.5" head cir 45.5 cm

04/23/08: weight 19 lbs 3 oz; height 30" head cir 46.5 cm

10 Months Old

2008-04-20T08:09:00.000-07:00

Ella is 10 months old today. Recent developments include the arrival of several teeth; louder squealing and shrieking; 'cruising' on her feet; pointing; nodding her head 'yes', and talking with a lot more vowel+consonant combinations.

Foods she's eaten this weekend:
+ fried egg yolk on toast (now becoming the breakfast standard)
+ guacamole & hummus on toast
+ hamburger
+ lettuce
+ lots of cheerios

Our attempts to persuade her to eat steamed or fresh vegetables and fruit have not been successful yet. She feeds herself by using her hands and seems to dislike foods that have a wet or moist texture, so fruit or vegetables that have been cooked in any way have not been popular.

She had her 9-month checkup today (though she is 10 months), and she passed with flying colors except for weight. Two months ago, she weighed exactly 19 pounds and was in the 95th percentile for babies at 8 months. Today, she weighed 19 pounds, 3 ounces, and had dropped to the 50th percentile for babies at 10 months. The doctor indicated she should be gaining weight consistently and staying in roughly the same percentile range each visit. We'll keep trying with the food every day, and hope for better results at her one-year checkup.

Her walking is getting better and better. The push wagon has been a welcome addition to the toy collection, and she loves getting pushed up and down the hall on the scooter. Walking around the playground and watching kids play at the park is one of her favorite activities, and she tries to get along holding only one hand instead of two.

Here's a video taken two days ago after Michael got home from work.
Ella pushes wagon 3 from /ella jean. on Vimeo.

We're guessing she was at least partially inspired to raise the volume level on her shriek as a result of observing all the other shriekers at the playground in Prospect Park, which is usually crowded and noisy when we visit in the afternoons. Now she could be in a varsity shrieking league. She shrieks for fun and to signal displeasure or impatience (e.g. when I'm trying to wipe her face). We're expecting the hallway mirror to crack any day now.

She went to the first swimming lesson yesterday at Berkeley Carroll school and liked it. As soon as I put her down in the pool area, she walked to the edge of the pool and would have stepped right in if I'd let her hands go. The instructor laughed a few times when giving us instructions: she felt Ella's expression said "Do you really think it's a good idea to put us on our backs in the water and blow bubbles near our ear?". Her music class instructors say they have to work hard to get smiles from her too, though she'll break out the happy shriek when the puppets, bubbles, parachute and live guitar playing are featured in class.

The separation anxiety phase seems to be fading a bit. She is slowly accepting her sitter, Maryanne, and she now willingly goes to Michael and looks forward to seeing him in the mornings and when he gets home from work.

Best news: she had taken two bottles of breastmilk in the past week, so we're realizing the bottle resistance was due in part to disliking formula.

Oona on a roll

2008-04-18T16:37:00.000-07:00

Oona came over this morning to test drive the Radio Flyer wagon. Here's her first run:

Oona pushes Wagon 1 from /ella jean. on Vimeo.

And here's another video of Ella pushing the wagon yesterday (Thursday).

Ella pushes wagon 3 from /ella jean. on Vimeo.

Ella pushes wagon

2008-04-15T07:01:00.000-07:00

Two videos taken this morning of Ella pushing her new wagon.

Ella walks with wagon 1 from /ella jean. on Vimeo.

Ella walks with wagon 2 from /ella jean. on Vimeo.

Training for F1

2008-04-06T19:36:00.000-07:00

Ella continues to practice walking most of her waking hours every day, and though her balance is improving daily, her confidence still overshadows her sense of balance and danger. Last week, while standing and talking to her reflection in the glass doors of the office, she fell over like a tree and bruised her temple on the edge of the metal doorframe. I came across the Thudguard and Bumper Bonnet while surfing for some electrical outlet plugs and other items needed to finish babyproofing the apartment.

Here's a photo of Ella modeling the Bumper Bonnet, which she wore after a good session on her scooter. She vetoed the Thudguard -- wouldn't allow it to sit on her head even long enough for a photo. Michael and I survived our childhoods without helmets, so we won't be subjecting Ella to the bumper bonnet going forward (she's learned to bend at the waist and fall on her bum since last week, and the number of falls is diminishing). But it did make me feel slightly less anxious when she wore it this morning for roughly a half hour while standing unattended in the living room, and it was good for a lot of laughs.

Now for some big news (cue the drum roll):
Ella slept from 630 pm until 530 a.m. last night without eating anything during the night. No night feeds. "Slept" is a slight exaggeration; she woke up at 10 pm and cried on and off for 45 minutes (a time when I would have nursed her in the past), but eventually went back to sleep and didn't wake up again til 530 this morning.

So we are finally on our way to sleeping through the night. We're expecting a few more nights with occasional protests but hope that she'll be sleeping (or putting herself back to sleep without any intervention from us) by next week.

Now, if we can figure out how to get her to eat solid food and take a bottle or sippy cup, we'll be all set!

NY Aquarium Visit

2008-04-01T15:34:00.000-07:00

Today Amanda, Oona, Ella and I visited the NY Aquarium in Coney Island (Brooklyn). Here are videos of Ella and Oona taken at the Walrus exhibit, courtesy of Amanda.

Ella & Walrus 1 from /ella jean. on Vimeo.

Ella & Walrus 2 from /ella jean. on Vimeo.

Milestones

2008-04-01T04:34:00.000-07:00

Recently we've started to find Ella sitting up in her crib in the mornings and after naps, and yesterday she crawled a few feet on her belly to reach a toy without crying even though we were all sitting nearby in the living room. The only thing that has motivated her to crawl in the past is to reach one of us, but yesterday she was heading for a toy. She may be realizing the benefits of being mobile without waiting/crying for someone to help her walk.

Her preferred method of locomotion is still walking, and she's getting braver by the day about walking while using only one hand for support. She has started to let go with both hands to stand unassisted. She's bonked her head a few times but doesn't usually cry.

This is a video of Ella doing the belly crawl a few days ago while crying. At the end of the video, you'll hear her switch from crying to chattering as soon as she's up on her feet (about the span of a hearbeat!). The first part of the clip is a good example of the 'complaining' cry, and shows how quickly she can turn it off when she gets where she wants. I'll try and film a happy crawl and a clip of Ella sitting up later this week.

Ella crawling. from /michael. on Vimeo.

9 Months

2008-03-26T19:11:00.000-07:00

Dear Ella,
You turned nine months old last week. You have a great smile that features one tooth in the middle of your bottom gum. You're quick to smile, and enjoy joking with me by putting your fingers or paper in my mouth to see what reaction you get, playing peekaboo, accomplishing new feats like turning the bedroom light on and off, pointing the remote at the radio, banging on the xylophone, etc. Your hair is growing in and starting to curl in the back -- you may have inherited some natural wave from your father! You are still not wild about 'solid' food. Somewhere along the line during our month-long trip to California and Australia, you decided not to eat solids on a regular basis, and I still haven't convinced you to resume a regular eating pattern. Last week you started clapping, and you've been a good jumper since you were five months old. You're not a cry-baby: when you got your second flu shot last Monday, you didn't cry, and when you tumble at home, you don't get upset unless it's a bad fall. You enjoy the books we've been reading to you since you were less than two months old, and can open the flaps of your "Spot goes to [the farm/school/etc]" books by yourself. You also follow all the instructions in 'Pat the Bunny' and you like books by Sandra Boynton, so we've collected the whole set. You smile whenever the phone rings and we answer it, and playing with the phones, going for walks in your stroller, and especially walking with assistance at home are three sure-fire ways to cheer you up anytime of day. Lately, you and I have become especially close. You're in a 'mom' phase right now, and when you get tired, you prefer to be bathed by and hang out with me, but you'll let your father read you bedtime stories and put you to bed, and you'll allow almost anyone to hold your hands if they'll walk you around the house. You have proved you can crawl by scooting along the floor using your hands and legs 'commando' style, but you cry the whole time, and only do it to reach me if I sit a few feet away and refuse to help you, which I don't do often (or often enough). You prefer to practice walking with help, and are happiest if I park you at the coffee table to explore, or in front of the glass doors of the office, where you can talk to your reflection. Every day, you 'talk' a little more and thrill us again with your smiles and laughs.

Here's video of clapping, and some recent pictures from Easter Sunday (walking with your Uncle Ben), crying, and a smile that shows your tooth.
Ella clapping from /michael. on Vimeo.

Bed Head

2008-03-14T14:06:00.000-07:00

Taken when she woke up this morning and I went to get her out of her crib.

First Tooth

2008-03-10T19:05:00.001-07:00

Ella's first tooth came in a few weeks ago but it has been hard to see. Today I finally got a few pictures of her tooth and while wearing her winter hat (the only one she wears without trying to pull it off). These were taken just before we left the apartment to walk to her weekly music class, called "Little Maestros". Here's a short clip of Ella in class today. I was sitting behind her while filming, so it's not ideal in terms of seeing her, but most of the squeals that you hear are coming from her.

Ella at Music Class from /michael. on Vimeo.

Ella in Music Class 2 from /michael. on Vimeo.

Playdate with Naomi

2008-03-03T03:48:00.000-08:00

Keri and Naomi came over yesterday for a playdate in the afternoon. Naomi, Ella, and Keri and I have been friends since the first Mothers' Group meeting last summer, and they live on 15th Street too, 3 blocks east of us. Naomi was born on June 8th. The first 60 seconds of the video have the most interaction...

Playdate with Naomi from /michael. on Vimeo.

Dr. Seuss's Thing 1 and Thing 2

2008-02-26T18:18:00.001-08:00

On Monday, Ella and I went to music class, called "Little Maestros", at 3 pm. We invited Oona and Amanda along so they could see what a class is like. Four musicians lead each class -- keyboardist, a drummer, a guitarist/singer and a singer -- and class usually involves a lot of singing, some dancing, some bubbles, a puppet show, an activity involving a musical instrument, a story and a little jumping. Pictured are Ella and Oona after class at about 4 pm, overdue for their last catnap of the day, but in pretty good spirits and willing to strike some poses.

First Concert

2008-02-24T06:33:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, Michael and I took Ella to her first concert -- the February show in the Family Concert series at Carnegie Hall -- featuring Bobby McFerrin and the Polygraph Lounge. It started at 2 pm and lasted 45 minutes. Emma, Alan and their 2-year old son, Senan, and Amanda and 8-month old Oona also attended, and we all went out for a snack afterward at Pain Quotidien nearby. The audience was full of babies and kids, and Ella, Oona and Senan all liked the show! Ella stood on our laps to see the stage and enjoyed the sounds that the group made and studied the other kids sitting in our row and the seats around us. The program is pictured.

6-Month Check-up at 8 Months

2008-02-20T15:47:00.000-08:00

Ella is eight months old today, and had her six-month appointment this afternoon.

Weight: 19 pounds (75%)
Height: 28.25 inches (90%)
Head circumference: 45.5 centimeters (92%)

The percentiles show where Ella is ranked relative to other 8-month old girls; for example, at nineteen pounds, she's heavier than 74% of other 8-month old girls taken in a survey by the American Pediatric Association a few years ago. The nurse quoted slightly different percentiles than the doctor; we've reflected what the doctor quoted.

Her two front bottom teeth are coming in, she's 'talking' a lot and making raspberries, nodding her head when she likes a toy, putting her thumb and index finger together as though she's going to snap her fingers, jumping in the jumperoo, and practicing walking (her favorite activity). We're working on a regular eating schedule now that she's started to eat solids again, and longer sleeps at night (she's been waking 3 times a night since the trip in Dec/Jan).

Here is a video of Ella and Michael reading a book called "Spot Goes to the Farm" just before Ella went to bed tonight. The book was a gift from our friend Delyth Harris and the Harris family, and each page has a door or gate that needs to be opened to reveal a farm animal. We started to read this book to Ella 4 weeks ago, and it's become one of her favorites.

Reading from /michael. on Vimeo.

Fun Visit!

2008-02-17T15:54:00.001-08:00

Birgitta and Julia arrived from Columbus, Ohio, on Friday, Feb 15th, to visit us for the weekend. Julia is 6 years old and interested in becoming a spy. She and Ella enjoyed playing together as soon as we got back home.
Julia was thrilled to see the Statue of Liberty from the plane as it approached La Guardia airport to land, and over the moon to discover that she could see Lady Liberty from our bedroom window and the roof of our condo as well (pictured).
Friday afternoon we went for a walk around Park Slope that included a brief stop at the Superhero Store (closed for the weekend!) and a toy store, where Julia picked up a practical joke toy: a can of peanuts that when opened, causes a plastic snake to pop out. When we got home, Julia asked Michael to help her open her new can of peanuts, and he was genuinely startled! She was thrilled that the joke worked.
Saturday, we went to China Town where we saw many colorful paper lanterns hanging between buildings and trees in honor of the Chinese New Year, and visited a famous donut shop called "Doughnut Plant" to sample the donuts. We took a subway to Times Square to visit the Swatch store so Julia could get her first wristwatch and a souvenir shop to buy some mementos of the trip including a lot of Statue of Liberty paraphernalia. We ate lunch at Chevy's -- reliving an old tradition that Birgitta and I used to have in Silicon Valley -- and visited the Hersheys and M&M "super" stores. Ella accompanied us the whole day and was a happy camper, chattering in her stroller, and finishing an entire jar of pureed pear at lunchtime. Michael picked us up around 430 pm in the afternoon, and it was great to get a ride home.
Saturday night, we made a deal that Julia would babysit Ella for $1, and Michael would babysit Julia so Birgitta and I could go out for dinner. We had a great meal at Sidecar, just around the corner from our condo.
Today we bought bagels for breakfast and drove Birgitta and Julia to the airport to fly home. Next visit it will be our turn to go to Columbus, unless we can arrange to rendezvous in California this summer!

Great Valentine's Day Gift

2008-02-17T13:22:00.001-08:00

About midway through our travels in Australia (first week in January 2008), Ella stopped eating solids and would only nurse. On Thursday, February 14th, Ella started eating solid food again. We are thrilled!

After a few test drives, we've got a routine sorted. She eats well after a nap and after she's nursed, and prefers to feed herself, so I put food on the spoon and she puts it in her mouth. It has taken 4-5 spoons to get through each of the last couple of meals. She holds a spoon in one hand while taking a new spoonful with the other hand, so there has to be at least 3 spoons in rotation, and one or two get dropped on the floor. Five or ten minutes after she starts eating, she notices her hands get sticky, and she flexes and unflexes her fingers and puts them on the table to explore the stickiness, and then resumes eating.

Today, while driving in the car, I put my hand back near her face to distract her, and she bit on my thumb. I felt a sharp ridge on her lower gums. Her bottom teeth are starting to come it. This has been a great week: eating and some teeth starting to come in. She's caught up with the rest of her June baby posse!

My mother sent us some gifts from Finland, including a Finnish hat (modeled by Ella and Oona).

Baptism

2008-02-07T05:44:00.001-08:00

On Sunday, December 23rd, Ella was baptized at Christ Lutheran Church by Pastor Russ Gordon. Pastor Russ officiated at our wedding in 2006, so it was fitting that he baptize the new addition to our family in 2007. My parents have been members of the congregation for more than 30 years, and my brother Ben and I were baptized there when we were little, so we have a long-standing history with the church and the people there.

Ella's godmothers are Dymphna McGrath, Michael's sister, and Laverne Lunde, a close family friend. Dymphna lives in Melbourne, Australia, and could not attend the ceremony, but was there in spirit. Laverne was Ben's and my violin teacher for many years, her husband, the late Pastor David Lunde, was the Pastor of the church for many years, and Andra and Mari, Laverne's daughters, are also good friends. Laverne, Mari and Andra are professional musicians, and played at our wedding. Laverne is also the Music Director at Christ Lutheran, so there are a lot of dimensions to our long-standing friendship.

Ella woke around 615 a.m. on the morning of the baptism, so Michael and I were expecting a meltdown when the time for the service finally arrived at 10 a.m. Fortunately, Pastor scheduled the baptism at the front end of the service so Ella wouldn't have to wait for a long time. Right after the welcome and opening hymn, the baptism portion of the service began.

Michael and I held her for the opening words and prayers and handed her over to Laverne at the appropriate point in the ceremony (whom Ella had met only once before briefly on our trip to California in October, when she was 3+ months old). Laverne was wearing several strands of beads, so Ella was content to play with her necklace. Pastor took Ella in his arms to perform the baptism, and she looked serious and slightly confused by it all ("he's putting water on my head but I'm not taking a bath?"). Once he'd finished drying her head, he walked her down the center aisle of church so everyone at the service could see her. Ella surprised us by staying calm.

Once the baptism was over, we took Ella outside to feed her and then Michael took her for a walk in the stroller where she promptly fell asleep. She woke up right at the end of the service, just in time for the coffee hour and post-church celebration, including a cake to celebrate her baptism. Many friends were eager to hold her after church, so she was passed around to a lot of new faces, and she received several gifts.

Jan Rosendahl embroidered a red cross and lace on the white cloth handkerchief that Pastor used to dry Ella's head, and Lucy Hughes gave Ella a beautiful book, a dress and shoes, and Ella's initials in the form of pale pink porcelain letters threaded with ribbon for hanging on a wall or door.

Laverne gave Ella a silver snowflake ornament engraved with Ella's full name on one side and the date of her baptism on the other. Dymphna and Daniel gave her a pretty bracelet and a porcelain figurine of an angel.

Ixnay on the Solids

2008-02-02T19:57:00.000-08:00

We took a month-long trip over the holidays to California and Australia: one week in California, where Ella was baptized (on Dec 23rd), two weeks in Australia, and one week in California. Michael, Ella and I traveled together for the first 3 weeks, and then Michael returned to NY to get back to work, while Ella and I spent the last week in California visiting my parents and recuperating from the Sydney-LA flight.

Ella was a trooper the whole trip. She adapted quickly to the different time zones and the new places and faces. She didn't demonstrate any 'stranger anxiety' when meeting new people, and was content to be held by anyone. She didn't cry much on the flights, and received compliments from grateful passengers after each flight. The only two challenges resulting from the travel were than she didn't sleep well at nighttime, and halfway through the trip, she started boycotting solids. She refused to eat, regardless of what we offered her and preferred to nurse exclusively (wouldn't take a bottle either).

Since we got back two weeks ago, we have decided to take some time off from pushing solids and wait for Ella to signal an interest in trying food again. She sits at the table with us for meals during the day, and we always make some food for her in case she's interested in trying it, but so far, she hasn't wanted to eat.

We've been home for two weeks. Three days after we landed in NY, Ella came down with a fever, cough and cold, and she's still recovering. Two days ago, I got a similar bug, so we've both been dragging and going a little stir crazy recently, being mostly home bound.

This weekend has been a highlight because Michael is home so he's taking care of Ella. She's enjoying the playtime with Dad, and I'm sleeping as much as possible to shake the cold. Today at lunch time, she ate some pear (via her mesh pacifier) and gummed a carrot stick, which gives us hope that she may try some food again soon.

Later, she and Michael went for a walk, and she wore a t-shirt Michael brought for her as a souvenir from a trip to London last year. Wagamama's was a favorite restaurant when I lived in England, and there is a Wagamama's next to the Cisco office in London where he visited.

First Solid Food!

2007-12-17T17:51:00.000-08:00

Today Ella sat in her highchair at the dining room table and had solid food for the first time: rice cereal mixed with breastmilk. She was up for the experience and ate almost all the food I prepared -- and the rest ended up on her face, hands and bib.

More videos and photos as always at http://ellajean.name/.

Smiles for the Camera

2007-12-14T13:38:00.000-08:00

Her first illness this week: a virus that hit early Wednesday a.m. She threw up after her first feed of the morning, and had a mild temperature of 100.6F and diarrhea. Since then she's been pale and has been pooping green (5-7 times a day), but is keeping food down. These pictures were taken this morning. In spite of the virus, she's been cheerful between naps.

Ella & Elephants (Dec 13)

2007-12-13T16:48:00.001-08:00

Michael Payne, VP, and his assistant (Dec 12, 2007)

2007-12-13T16:41:00.000-08:00

In Michael's office on the 24th floor of JPMorganChase.

Ho Ho Ho (Dec 11, 2007)

2007-12-13T16:23:00.001-08:00

Month 5, week 4

2007-12-10T18:06:00.000-08:00

Ella is one week away from her 6-month birthday. Her hair is growing in, and is very soft. It still stands up at the crown, even after she's worn a close-fitting hat on her head for more than an hour. One of the moms in the June babies group said she looks as though she's put her finger in a socket. A nurse (Jen) at the pediatrician's office said Ella looks like Shiloh Jolie-Pitt (meant as a compliment).

Ella does many fun and sweet things: she walks her fingers around my face, in my hair or in my mouth while she's nursing; she reaches out now to touch everything -- the flow of water under the faucet, the walls as we're going upstairs, items in the refrigerator, Michael's and my face and hair; likes to pull herself up to a sitting and standing position holding onto our fingers, and smiles when she does it as though she's just won a prize. Loves to look in the mirror, and says a lot of syllables now ("da da", "la la" and "thppppp"). When she's crying her 'mad' cry, she sometimes 'talks', saying "DA DA DA DA DAAAAAAAAA!!" as though she's telling us what she's upset about.

Technically, her first word was "Da Da", though Michael and I are pretty sure she hasn't used it yet as a reference to Michael; and occasionally she'll say "Aay-la", which sounds a lot like her name. We often practice with her, saying "Ma Ma, Da Da" and (pointing to her) "Ella". She watches us intently, grins in response and says "da da da thppppp". She has recognized her name for months now, responds when we call to her, and understands the gesture/word "look!", "shhh", and others. When we point to something, she follows the direction of our finger to whatever we are pointing, and when she's fussing and I'm finding it hard to think, I'll look at her and put my finger up to my mouth and say "Shhh", and she'll stop and look at me as though it might be the start of a fun game and she's waiting to see whether I'll do something else that might be entertaining.

She's been rolling from her back to her stomach since her 4th month, and does it very quickly. At yoga class, when I lay her at the head of the mat on her back (like all the other babies), she flips over very fast and pushes up on her hands to get a look around the room.

She prefers to sleep on her stomach now, and when she wakes in the middle of the night, she cries and pushes up on her hands to look at the doorway from her crib. When Michael or I tiptoe to the bathroom at night and the floorboards creak, we'll see her fuzzy head pop up over the side of the crib and she'll see us through the doorway (darn those creaky floorboards). We're starting to crawl to the bathroom on our hands and knees now in the middle of the night to get past her doorway without detection.

She's sitting up independently for short periods of time and if she starts to tip, often catches herself and corrects her balance well enough to avoid tipping over. Right now, the safety labels on her toys are more interesting to her than the toy itself, and when Michael wears a Magpie T-shirt from the Australian Football Club, she studies the logo with interest (black and white) and reaches out to touch it.

Pictured: sitting on the rocking chair in her room; sitting on the living room sofa with the TV remote; her camera face; sitting in her bouncy chair (hair sticking up).

December Union Hall Meeting

2007-12-09T18:02:00.000-08:00

Today the June Babies Club met at Union Hall in advance of the holiday break. We had a gift exchange (Secret Santa/Happy Hanukkah) and every baby got a present. They're all starting to sit up independently, maintain prolonged eye contact, smile broadly, and enjoy being held by other parents. Although each baby is different and has a distinct personality already, we're amazed by the similarities as they develop. They are all in the exploration phase, and putting hands in our mouths/hair as they nurse, starting to giggle, teethe, etc.

Stella (3rd from right) has the best head of hair in the bunch and has since she was born!, and Alice and Soren are tied for second place in the 'Great Hair' category. What Naomi lacks in hair (4th from left) she makes up for in length. She's the 'supermodel' baby of the group: the longest, most slender, with long, pretty legs. Matteo (on right end) was born in May and was the first to sprout two of his lower front teeth. He and Oona look related, and take adorable photos together. Ella and Henry hold hands when they meet at yoga or at Group meetings. Max (2nd from right) stays at home most days with his father, who is a professional chef. Alice is the newest member of the group.

Here are photos from the lineup (see pictures of babies on red corner sofa). Initially they were all upright and cheerful (they enjoy sitting next to each other). But now that they're in the wandering-hands phase, it's a very short time before one baby's hand gets into another baby's hair or mouth. Soren and Ella were straddling a huge gap in the sofa cushions and listed to the side, creating a domino effect. By the time the parents backed away and started snapping photos, the gang was listing and starting to wail...
Group pictures (from left to right): Alice, Oona, Henry, Soren, Ella, Naomi, Stella, Max, Matteo.

The cloud overshadowing the day is that Golden is in the hospital getting a blood transfusion to alleviate his anemia. Jen estimates they'll be in the hospital until middle or end of this week while they conduct tests and doctors try to determine the cause of the illness/anemia/low platelet count. This is a shout-out to Golden, Jen, and Brian, who were greatly missed today. In the first group photo of the babies (taken on Labor Day, September, 2007 - see above picture of babies lying on a striped blanket), Golden is second from the right. By the 2-month mark, while some of us were fretting over breastfeeding challenges and the babies' weight gain, Golden had grown 3 inches and gained 3 pounds. He has one of the sweetest dispositions of the bunch. We're all thinking of the Randolphs every day and praying that they find the root cause of his illness, he can recover quickly and come home, and play with the rest of the June babies again.

First Giggle

2007-12-06T01:27:00.000-08:00

Ella giggled for the first time last night during a drive home from IKEA. She was in her carseat in the backseat of our car, and Amanda and her daughter Oona were sitting in the backseat too. Amanda was entertaining Ella by showing her the back of her whoozit toy, and she giggled several times! The sweetest sound.

First Snow

2007-12-04T08:29:00.000-08:00

Ella saw her first snow on Sunday, December 2, 2007. Pictured: Ella looking at the snow on the deck; the deck furniture covered with snow; Ella laying on the playmat flashing her sunny, gummy smile.

2 Good Nights of Sleep Does Not a Pattern Make...

2007-11-24T15:11:00.000-08:00

This week introduced a lot of firsts: Ella's first Thanksgiving, celebrated at the Cohens; first two trips in the new family car (a used Range Rover) -- one to the Cohens, and one to the Marcuses (Emma, Alan and Senan); first time playing in the Exersaucer toy; and first Gymboree class for babies 0 - 6 months old.

She met Uncle Ben for the second time since she was born.

She enjoyed all the day trips, Gymboree class and company (Ben), but naps were short and sporadic over the last three days because we were out, and the night sleeps have been more disjointed. In the last journal entry, we were rejoicing that she'd slept from 10:30 pm until 7 a.m. for a couple of nights. Last night she woke up three times between 7 p.m. and 7 a.m., and she hasn't had a nap longer than one hour or pooped in the last 3 days, so we can't bank on a smooth night yet.

Tomorrow we're going to stick close to home so she naps in her crib and try to stick to a routine for the next several days to see if we can get back on track.

Pictured: Thanksgiving at the Cohens, Phil Cohen holding Ella, playtime on her playmat at home (looking at mirror), sitting in the new exersaucer, and visiting with Uncle Ben.

Five months and lots of fun

2007-11-18T21:06:00.000-08:00

This week, there's been two nights where Ella slept from 10:30 pm - 7:00 a.m.! Tonight it's midnight and she hasn't woken since she went to sleep at 710 pm.

She didn't poop for five days last week. Since she'd occasionally grunt as though she was pushing, we called the pediatrician to get some ideas. The best of the options was to give her prune juice in a bottle. We gave her a half an ounce of prune juice mixed with one ounce of water. She made a funny face but finished at least an ounce. For the rest of the day, nothing happened, but that evening, at 2 a.m. she woke up crying, and Michael could smell poo before he'd even reached the crib. She's pooped a few times since then, so it seems like the plumbing is working well.

Ella likes to hold our hands and pull herself up to a sitting and standing position now, and spends more and more time on her stomach on the playmat. She rolls from her back to her stomach and pulls her arms free, and pushes up on her arms. Then, after realizing she doesn't have free hands to grab objects with, she starts complaining until someone comes to flip her back onto her back. She's also starting to use consonants in her 'chatter'. She doesn't seem to have a 'grumpy' setting, except when we've put her in the crib to take a nap. She still objects, and spends somewhere between 2 and 20 minutes letting us know she isn't a fan of naps until she falls asleep.

Union Hall Meeting - November 11, 2007

2007-11-16T05:40:00.001-08:00

The June Mothers' Group normally meets on Tuesday afternoons. In September, we started a tradition of having at least one weekend meeting every quarter so spouses could attend.
The first weekend gathering took place at Prospect Park on Monday, September 6 (Labor Day) when the babies were all roughly 3 months old. Pictured on the blanket from left to right: Oona, Ella, Stella, Naomi, Soren, Henry, Golden, Matteo.
The second meeting took place at Union Hall Bar in Park Slope, Brooklyn on Sunday, November 11, when the babies were five months old. Pictured on sofa from left to right: Soren, Oona, Stella, Naomi, Henry, Ella.

Playdate with Oona - Nov 15, 2007

2007-11-15T18:08:00.000-08:00

Photo at bottom: Oona (white swaddle) and Ella (floral swaddle) at ~4 weeks old, taken on July 15, 2007.
Photos below left: Oona and Ella at Prospect Park at ~3 months old on Labor Day.
Photo on right: Ella (pink pants) and Oona (orange shirt) at ~5 months old, taken on November 15, 2007. Look how far they've come!

Here are recent videos of Ella smiling at the camera (a rare occurrence) and rolling from her back to her stomach (dated November 11 & 12).

Week 20

2007-11-12T19:08:00.000-08:00

Possibly the cutest little chicken in Park Slope

4.75 Months

2007-11-10T19:08:00.001-08:00

Ella is 19 weeks old now. Today her naps were too short (30 minutes or less) so she was rubbing her eyes and bursting into tears at random intervals by 5 pm. Earlier in the day, we went out for brunch with our friends, Emma, Alan, and their 20-month old son, Senan. Ella sat in our laps throughout brunch looking around at other diners with great interest, scrunching the paper tablecloth in her hands, and 'talking' loudly. When we left the restaurant, she fell asleep in her stroller for 30 minutes. If she had her way, I think she'd opt to be within eyesight of us 100% of the time. Here's a picture of Ella on her playmat with Mr. Toast.

Surprise!

2007-11-07T17:10:00.000-08:00

Michael has successfully fooled Ella into smiling by hiding the camera and catching her unaware. She loves trips in the stroller -- the longer, the better.

New Bugaboo footmuff. Very pink.

Caterpillar

2007-11-07T16:51:00.000-08:00

Ella has grown fond of the pink stuffed caterfly (butterpillar) thing in her crib. It was a gift from relatives in Florida (the Demmas!). She'll stop wailing long enough to smile at it when I pull the tail to make music, and she'll grab it and try to suck on some part of it before starting to wail again about being left in her crib to go to sleep. Its antennae usually look a little soggy on close inspection.

This stuffed thingamajig is going to be logging airmiles with us for the trip to California and Sydney in December!

Ella: 4.5 months now

2007-10-29T13:36:00.000-07:00

Ella is 4 and a half months old now. She smiles, 'talks' and sometimes squeals when she's awake and happy, and she's almost always happy between naps during the day.

She has perfected a shriek when she's bored or wants attention, and she cries when she wants to be retrieved from her crib.

Things she likes: playing with the Whoozit toys; pulling on the hanging toys on her playmat; looking in the mirror; sitting in the Bumbo chair; kicking and waving her arms on the bed; songs sung to her; listening to stories and looking at the pictures in books (when she isn't tired); walks in her stroller; baths in the bathtub; trips by car/subway/train/plane and visits to friends' houses; and being held by family and friends.

Things she dislikes: Naps, bedtime, sitting in her carseat when the car or stroller isn't moving, being held in the 'cradle' position when she's awake; loud background noise.

We love love love her!

Ella & Melissa and the Baby Bjorn

2007-08-01T15:48:00.001-07:00

Ella & Melissa and the Baby Bjorn
Originally uploaded by hartley

She lasted about 10 minutes in this before crying to get out, but we're on our way...

Today is the first day of Ella's 7th week, and we got our first 'intentional' smile this morning from Ella!

Induction (Tuesday, June 19th) & Birth Day (June 20th)

2007-07-18T15:39:00.000-07:00

Dr. Holden suggested we check into the hospital on Tuesday morning (June 19th) to be induced if I didn't go into labor naturally.

On Tuesday morning, Michael and I used a car service to get to the hospital in Manhattan with our hospital bags packed. I cried on the way -- had hoped to go into labor naturally and felt bad we would be induced. It felt like I had failed us physically in some way.

We checked in and were given a room in Triage by 9 a.m. A nurse did a sonogram to check fluid levels in the placenta, and I was started on an IV (fluid to keep hydrated). Two monitors were strapped to my belly: one monitored the Bean's heart rate; the other monitored my contractions. Around 10:30 a.m. we were moved to a Labor & Delivery room.

Although the monitor showed I had small contractions, I couldn't feel them and wasn't dilating beyond 2 centimeters.

The L&D room was big. Had its own bathroom, a guest bed/couch, a TV, and a hospital bed for me. The nurse who helped us throughout the day was Simone. There was enough room for my mother, father and Michael to visit at the same time with space to spare.

My parents arrived at the hospital around 11 a.m. or noon, and kept us company until about 5 pm that day.

At noon, Simone started giving me Pitocin to induce labor. It was great to have my parents and Michael in the room with me throughout the day. My mother massaged my swollen feet and ankles; Michael gave me water/ice, reading material, and told me stories to take my mind off waves of contractions. My father looked anxious and paced a lot.

At around 2:30 pm, Dr. Holden visited and elected to break my water. It was uncomfortable after than when contractions came -- I'd gush warm fluid during contractions, which felt like I was peeing on the bed.

By about 4:30 pm the contractions were big, hugely painful and lasting between 1-2 minutes, several minutes apart. Best way to describe it is severe pressure on pelvic bones. I was allowed to get up and wheel my IV bag wth me to go to the bathroom, and when I came out of the bathroom, a contraction hit, and I got on my hands and knees and crawled on the floor to the edge of the bed. I stayed on the floor; it was less painful to be on my knees during contractions, but my rear end was hanging out for all to see because the hospital gown was open in the back. I was beyond caring!! The stories people tell about dignity going out the window during labor are true. The pain is so significant that all modesty gets shelved as you try to get through it. Simone came in the room, saw my bare backside, gave me an extra gown to cover up and pressed on my lower back (counter pressure) until the bout of contractions passed. I got back into bed about 15 minutes later.

At 5 pm, I had an epidural, which hurt during the insertion of the catheter, but gave immediate relief.

At 10:30 pm, Dr. Holden checked back in. The contractions were as painful again (with the epidural) as they'd been at 4:30 pm without pain relief. The good news was I was 8 centimeters dilated.

At 11:20, Dr. Holden checked came back and confirmed I could start pushing. There were 4 of us in the room: Dr. Holden, Melissa (night nurse), Michael and me, and the room was dark except for a light over my bed, and a light over the table with some of the equipment that Dr. Holden and Melissa were using. Although I had envisioned my mother or parents being there, in the end this felt right. It was very quiet and there were just four of us in a dark room and it felt peaceful. I think it turned out for the best. The TV was on in the background and the Jon Steward Show and the Colbert Report were on during delivery.

We pushed at regular intervals; Michael helped hold my leg on one side during pushes, and the night nurse (also named Melissa), helped me on the other. It was a struggle to hold my legs up; if Michael and the nurse hadn't been there, I couldn't have done it on my own. The epidural had worn partially off; I could feel my left side (pelvis) completely; the right was partially numb. When I pushed, I could tell that I was also going to poop, which was embarrassing, but there was no way to stop it from coming out while pushing, and the nurse said it happens often during deliveries. Emma told me she hadn't felt anything during the pushing phase, so I think a large part of the epidural may have worn off when the time came to push.

At about 12:15 a.m., during one pushing session, the nurse asked Michael to look "down there" so he could see the baby's head, which was starting to crown. At 12:21, the baby came out and Dr. Holden held it up: "It's a girl!" She was crying already and waving her arms.

We had been expecting a boy because so many friends and strangers had been predicting a boy based on my size, shape, their 'gut', etc. but I had hoped we would have a girl. When he held her up and showed her to me, I felt a huge wave of love for her. He put her on my stomach. I was pretty feeble at this point, so I think Holden or Melissa ended up holding her in place on my stomach since I was struggling to move my arms and lift my head.

Dr. Holden helped Michael cut the umbilical cord.

Melissa carried her to a table with a heat lamp to clean her up, weigh her, etc. and Michael went with her. Dr. Holden then worked on me for a few minutes and said "now the placenta is out". Melissa suggested Michael take a picture, which he did. It looked like a large, semi-deflated gray rubber ball (with a lot of veins running through it) in a tray with several pints of blood.

I tore during the delivery, so Dr. Holden spent some time stitching me up, Melissa removed the epidural catheter in my back, and we also arranged to store stem cells from the umbilical cord, so Dr. Holden extracted cells from the umbilical cord (after it had been cut) and Melissa took some vials of blood from me to send along with the stem cells.

At about 2:30, Dr. Holden was done putting me back together and the nurse brought Ella to me and we tried breastfeeding her. At first we tried the cradle position, and she cried, so then the nurse helped me with the 'football' position, and she latched on.

Her name is Ella Jean Payne. She weighed 7 pounds, 14 ounces at birth, and she was born at 12:21 a.m. on June 20th.

I went to a shared room at 3:30 a.m. and Michael came with, though he wasn't allowed to stay overnight with me because the room wasn't private. At 4 a.m., the nurse brought Ella to me in a plastic bassinet with wheels, and I tried to feed her and then put her back in the bassinet, but I didn't have the arm strength to lift her into the bassinet and my legs were still numb from the epidural, so the nurse came to help me.

They took Ella back to the nursery so I could sleep, and brought her back at 7. Michael arrived around 7 or 8 after spending a few hours at home sleeping.

We were given a private room later in the day on Wednesday, so that meant Michael could sleep with Ella and me overnight until we discharged on Friday morning.

Here are pictures!: http://www.flickr.com/photos/hartley/sets/72157600454987295/

Update (Fathers' Day, June 17)

2007-06-17T08:18:00.000-07:00

Melissa's waistline: 45.75 inches

Michael and I phoned Dr. Holden yesterday to check in. He said if we don't go into labor naturally by Monday night, we should head to the hospital on Tuesday to be induced. He'll be on call that day and will be with us throughout the day.

Several friends have given Michael or me recommendations on things to do to bring on labor, ranging from eating spicy food, walking, and having sex to "bouncing her ass down the stairs" (Australian colleague at work).

Planning to skip the last suggestion. None of the others have worked so far.

Due Date: Come and Gone!

2007-06-16T07:50:00.000-07:00

We had a sonogram yesterday, Friday, June 15th, our due date. This is a standard procedure at the 40-week mark, and it's called a BPP (biophysical profile) to monitor fetal heart rate continuously for 20+ minutes, check the reflexes of the baby, measure amniotic fluid levels, etc.

According to measurements taken yesterday, the Bean is already 8 pounds, 8 ounces! The baby gains almost half a pound each week now.

The due date is the midpoint of the last 4 weeks of the pregnancy. Roughly 5% of pregnant women deliver on their due date according to Dr. Holden, and the rest come earlier or later. Senan (Emma's son) was born 5 days after his due date, Ben and I came after our due dates, and Bean is carrying on in the Renda tradition of being late.

It's funny to think I actually look forward to cramps and backaches. My parents and Michael ask "How are you feeling?" and I say "perfectly fine, unfortunately", and we all laugh. Ready to have the baby out now.

We saw the Bean's face and head even though it's down low. The radiologist said the Bean was making chewing/sucking motions. I hope that bodes well for breastfeeding attempts after the birth.

I find it emotional and difficult to look at our ultrasounds. We saw outlines of the external features, and the skeletal structure underneath, and he/she still looks like ET (!). I love the baby already whatever he'll/she'll look like, so I just want the radiologist to look on my behalf and tell me/us everything is ok. She said everything looked fine.

It is easy to get anxious at ultrasounds. Even though we had genetic testing and blood tests early in the pregnancy, there are a million other developmental issues that can happen along the way that can't be tested for in advance, that are unrelated to age and are out of the parents control (including things like cleft palate) so you find yourself shoving these worries to the back of your mind, hoping for the best, and watching the face of the radiologist very closely to insure he/she doesn't get a concerned look...

Last night, my parents and Michael and I walked to a restaurant in North Park Slope called the Chip Shop -- it's modeled directly on the UK Chip Shops and features meat pies, fish and chips, curry and chips, chips & butty, bangers & mash and more. We had great fish and chips and Michael tried a fried Mars Bar, which is a candy bar deep fried in batter (a donut!) covered in powder sugar. Heart attack on a plate. It reminded me of living in England.

We walked home and I had cramps for the rest of the evening, so we all went to bed optimistic that this might be real labor starting, but I fell asleep around midnight and woke up 8 hours later, so obviously it wasn't...

Today is my father's birthday! We were hoping the Bean would be born today, but unless something dramatic happens this afternoon, probably not. Mom made lamb chops for dinner, we had birthday cake and gave Dad a few presents. I'll post a picture here soon from our party of four (+1).

Above are two pictures from the two recent sonograms we've had - it shows the outline of Bean's head (June 15th), and one of Bean's feet (May 30th).

Weekly Checkup: No News & Weird Thing in Toilet... (Wednesday, June 13)

2007-06-14T07:37:00.000-07:00

Vitals: 110/70
Weight: same as last week
Fetal heartbeat: good

We saw Dr. Holden today, and for the first time I was looking forward to him checking me out to see if I'm dilated (even though it hurts a bit). Was hoping that the cramping this week was a sign that things are moving along here. This is expected to be our last doctor visit before the birth.

He said I'm dilated ~2 centimeters and softer than last week, which are good signs but not necessarily indicators that we'll go into labor naturally soon, so I am a little disappointed. The cramps have diminished so doesn't seem like much is happening.

Our official due date is the day after tomorrow (Friday, June 15th). As per the discussion we had with Dr. Holden at last week's appointment, the latest we'll be allowed to wait for something to happen naturally will be next Thursday, June 21st. Since Dr. Holden is on duty next Tuesday, he recommended we formally book in to the hospital on Monday, and he'll deliver us either Monday or Tuesday (!). We can opt to wait until Thursday; the downside is we probably won't get Dr. Holden.

Michael and I would both like it if we went into labor naturally, so we're hoping something happens this weekend (but right now, it doesn't feel like much will happen...). We are scheduled to show up at Columbia Presbyterian next Monday at 6 a.m. eastern if nothing develops this weekend.

Dr. Holden said it would be normal to spot or cramp up after the appointment. After dinner, I went to the bathroom (pee), and found something weird in the toilet. Sort of light brown and scalloped... I called my Mom in and we both looked. Maybe mucous plug?
http://www.justmommies.com/articles/mucous-plug.shtml
Not sure, but hope that's what it was.

Some of the best laughs Michael and I have had this pregnancy have been around bathroom issues in the last trimester. One incident (#2) happened at the old apartment; and another incident (#1) happened at a recent doctor visit when I was trying to provide a urine sample. I'll write separate entries later with a warning up front in case anyone wants to be spared the bathroom humor. It's worth recording to me because it will capture at least two times Michael and I couldn't stop laughing recently. The closer the due date, the less the dignity...

Any time now

2007-06-12T14:16:00.001-07:00

Bean, any time now would be great...

Crampy (Monday, June 11)

2007-06-11T15:17:00.001-07:00

Today is Monday, June 11th, and I've had cramps on and off since Sunday early morning (the 10th). Until yesterday, I felt no contractions, cramps or other discomforts, but today the cramps are increasing in frequency and in level of discomfort. My mom and I spent the morning doing laundry and rearranging beds and this afternoon, we went to a day spa to get massages. Mine was ok -- I'm crampy on and off every 10 minutes or so, and it is distracting, so I didn't enjoy it as much as I would if I wasn't pregnant.

My mom and I feel this development is probably a good thing -- hoping things are happening down there. Am assuming the cramps are related to starting to dilate/efface, which is good news. I'd rather go into labor naturally than run past due date and get induced, so maybe this is a sign that things are on their way.

Dr. Holden is on call tomorrow (Tuesday) and this coming weekend... if Bean doesn't come tomorrow (and comes on Wed, Thurs or Fri), then I'll probably be delivered by one of his colleagues If I cramp up every day until the weekend, it will make for a very long week at this rate, but the upside would be that Dr. Holden will deliver for us...

Weekly Checkup & Countdown (Wednesday, June 6)

2007-06-07T03:38:00.000-07:00

Weight: 181

Vitals: 120/60

Fetal heartbeat: good

Michael and I met Dr. Holden today. Our due date is next Friday, June 15th, so we're about 9 days away, though only 5% of women deliver on their actual due date -- roughly half go early and half go later.

Urine, blood pressure, weight and fetal heartbeat tested -- all fine. We asked what happens if we go past due date and there's no development, and Dr. Holden said the policy across different hospitals varies, but at Columbia, they won't let the baby come more than 1 week late (week 41). There's evidence that the probability of fetal distress increases dramatically between weeks 41 and 42 and beyond, so they'll induce labor after one week past the due date. Since Dr. Holden is on call Tuesdays and the weekends, if the Bean doesn't arrive naturally the weekend of the 16th/17th (due date), then we may induce on Monday, the 18th, with the expectation I'll deliver on Tuesday, the 19th when Dr. Holden is on call.

He did a quick internal exam and said I'm approximately 1 centimeter dilated and cervix is much softer than when he last saw me two weeks ago. We'll see him again next week...

Shout out - Thanks!

2007-05-30T18:43:00.000-07:00

This is a quick note of thanks to family and friends who've been keeping in touch and saying hi to check in on progress: Gemma C (Oz), Karen S (Oz), Julie C (NJ), Delyth (UK), Emma (NY), Dymphna (Oz), Latifa & Mike (SB), Sessi (Greece), Sheila R (Montauk), Melissa (Manhattan), Shannan (Manhattan), Mom, Dad, Ben, Moira...

I've done a poor job of returning calls, IMs and email messages in recent times, but am glad to get your messages and phone calls. I will be in touch soon. Hugs.

Weekly check-up & Sonogram (May 30th)

2007-05-30T13:01:00.000-07:00

Weight: Same as last week
Vitals: 120/70
Fetal heartbeat: 143-147 bpm (good)
Test result: Strep B - Negative (good!)

Michael and I met Dr. Eileen DeMarco today. She's nice -- very business-like. Felt the baby, confirmed head is down, said 'medium-sized' -- in the 7 pound range. Did an internal inspection -- said I'm starting to efface, but not dilated significantly. She mentioned she's on call on Fridays (June 15th is a Friday) but not the weekend of the 16th-17th, so it is a lottery in terms of which doctor will be on call when it's time to deliver.

The only thing on my mind was lack of movement. The Bean has been active every day for the past several weeks at many points throughout the day and night so that I've had no second thoughts about tracking fetal movement. Yesterday, I spent a good chunk of the day outdoors doing errands, and felt movement only twice, and none at night when I went to bed. This morning was very quiet -- no movement.

Dr. DeMarco said it's likely everything is ok, but indicated we should get a sonogram to check measurements and amniotic fluid levels to be safe. It's fairly routine to have a sonogram around week 38.

We were asked to stay and get the sonogram today, so Michael and I went to lunch and came back. The same radiologist who did our 19-week sonogram performed today's scan. Because the baby is big now, it was not easy to understand what was on the screen, and we couldn't tell what we were seeing. The radiologist said the baby looks fine: heartbeat, proportions and fluid levels all good and weight is 7 pounds 2 ounces based on the measurements! There was a good shot of a foot, so she printed that out for us to take home. I'll post it here once Michael gets home and we can scan it. She said we'll be fine and encouraged me to give the Bean a poke once in awhile if he/she has been dormant for a long time.

One thing I noticed: the radiologist referred to the Bean as 'him'!

37-Week Checkup (May 23, 2007)

2007-05-23T18:59:00.000-07:00

Weight: 178 pounds
Vitals: 100/60
Fetal heartbeat: good

Dad left this morning after a two-week visit to assist us with making the move to the new condo. His help was a huge benefit to us, and we couldn't have gotten sorted so quickly without him. Thank you, Dad!

Michael and I went to the doctor appointment together. Melissa, the nurse, took weight, urine, blood pressure and listened for fetal heartbeat. Urine test was fine, and fetal heartbeat was good (we could see the baby moving while I was laying back on the table). Dr. Holden explained that he'd do a Strep B test and check my cervix for dilation and the position of the fetus. When he checked for dilation, it hurt a bit. He said the baby's head is way down, and I'm approximately one centimeter dilated. He also said the baby doesn't feel too big, and estimates it will be in the 7-pound range.

The baby could arrive anytime week 38 - 41, which is good news. It would be ideal if the Bean held off at least one more week so Michael and I can finish unpacking and get organized. We aren't ready for the baby yet... no place for baby to sleep, too many boxes in the bedroom and baby clothes not washed yet.

Dr. Holden said Strep B is present in all adults, but in about 20% of women, it is present in the vagina and poses a threat to the baby during birth -- the major risk is pneumonia in the newborn. If I test positive for Strep B, I'll receive antibiotics intravenously as soon as I check in to the hospital for delivery, and the baby will be held for 48 hours after birth for evaluation by a pediatrician to insure that the baby is not adversely affected. The worst case scenario (low probability but a possibility) is that baby develops a fever and gets sick, which typically requires a 2-week stay in the hospital. We'll get the Strep test results middle of next week.

-Called pediatricians in Brooklyn today and found several who are willing to take on a new patient. None were available to meet us before the due date, but said we could bring the Bean in within 3 days after birth and get started.

-Discovered the "R" subway line connects the stop nearest our condo (Prospect Ave) to 59th Street/5th Ave, which is the closest stop to Dr. Holden's office at the Eastside location. The ride takes about 65 minutes. It is nice to be able to stay on one train for the whole ride.

35/36-week Check-up (Wednesday, May 16)

2007-05-16T19:25:00.000-07:00

Weight: 177 (I think I'm retaining at least 2 pounds of water in my ankles)
Vitals: 100/60
Fetal heartbeat: good

Michael and I met Dr. Shinn today, one of the five doctors in the practice with Dr. Holden. He measured my abdomen and said we are on target size-wise for 35-36 weeks (I'll be at the 36-week mark on Friday). Once week 36 hits, he said the baby could come anytime, but normally comes within a week of the due date (before or after). He clarified when we should call if we go into labor and said everything looks fine so far.

Next week we will see Dr. Holden. Tonight we had our last Birth Preparation course. Practiced breathing, covered breast feeding in a lot more detail, discussed bathing the baby, etc. Michael and I talked in the cab ride home, and agreed that we feel like we are in reasonable shape to cope with the baby when he/she arrives (famous last words).

The Things People Say

2007-05-14T20:49:00.000-07:00

"Twins, right?" - Subway worker at Prospect Ave Station

"Whoa. I'll catch!" Security guard at Bed Bath & Beyond

"Whuddaya, due in like 5 MINUTES? Looks like the kid is fully baked already..." - Guy with an accent like Tony Soprano's standing on street corner, waiting for light to change

"OOOOOOOOEEEEE! She is going to POP any second now." - Guys hanging around MSG

"My goodness. You look like you need help right away. You could have that baby any minute now. Let's take care of you right away!" - Pharmacist at Duane Reade

"You need to sit down, girl? If you need to sit down, you just let me know and I'll move these people. You look like you need to sit down now! Happy Mothers Day to YOU!" - Woman on the subway

"Are you due any minute now? 5 weeks?!? Oh... really? 5 more weeks? No kidding..." - Clerk at Lowe's

"Oh my god. You are ENORMOUS!" - Emma

Playlist ideas for L&D

2007-05-13T11:41:00.000-07:00

2nd movement - Bach Concerto #1 in A Minor for Violin BMV1041 - Andante
2nd movement - Bach Concerto #3 for Two Violins BMV1043 - Largo, ma non tanto
Songs from our wedding - the ones we were considering for our first dance (Augie March, etc.)
Pink Martini - Sympathique & Hang On Little Tomato (albums)
Bitter Sweet - The Mating Game (album)
Alison Krauss - song: "You're just a country boy"
Sade - songs: "The Sweetest Gift" and "By Your Side"
John Mayer - song: "Daughters"
(Delivery)
3rd movement - Bach Concerto #1 in A Minor for Violin - Allegro Assai
William Tell Overture - Rossini (ha ha)

35-week mark

2007-05-12T06:50:00.000-07:00

Went to the second birth preparation class this week by myself; Michael had a business trip to California. We saw a video of a woman giving birth vaginally filmed from the doctor's standpoint. Some of the Dads looked green afterward, and I felt queasy and almost dizzy. Delivering the placenta is one of those things people don't really talk about when sharing stories about the birth of their kids and I didn't know the placenta came out separately until getting pregnant.

No constipation, heartburn, varicose veins or shortness of breath so far...knock on wood. My feet have swelled up in the last few days and seem to be staying that way day and night -- I've got cankles now (cankles = calves merge directly into feet, no discernible ankle bones). My hands swell over the course of the day, especially after long walks.

I realized I'm not supposed to be eating deli meat sandwiches for lunch (which I had been doing until about two weeks ago - listeria risk) and tuna fish is also off the list (too much mercury), so when I'm working from home, which is most days now, the menu is fruit plus hard boiled eggs, a peanut butter sandwich or yogurt & granola. Looking forward to eating ham and cheese sandwiches again later.

Dad is visiting to help us with the move, and it's fun to have him here. Mom is in California, and said she and the dog are doing fine. Shi Shi Ling has always been attached to Mom; I'm sort of a distant 2nd favorite, followed by Dad and Ben (in definite last place in her affections).

In the recent past, my father has been doing most of the feeding/walking for schedule reasons. When Dad left for New York earlier this week, Mom said Shi Shi looked deflated when he packed his suitcase, and after he left she disappeared and now is only showing up now to interact with Mom at mealtimes and to be walked. Mom thinks the dog is missing Dad.

[Shi Shi Ling photographed by my father a week ago in Goleta.]

Video of Baby Movement

2007-05-06T19:30:00.000-07:00

Michael took a video of the Bean moving, and it is here: http://sooper.org/baby/film/ This is at about 33 weeks.

Dad is arriving in New York to visit us and help with the move to Brooklyn. Mom (and Dad) will come back in June to be there for moral support at the Bean's birth and after the arrival, and Moira plans to visit in July or August.

Condo Closing & Surprise Baby Shower (May 3rd)

2007-05-06T18:15:00.000-07:00

Today was a big day. Michael and I went to the closing of the condo this afternoon -- finally! -- at the Law Firm representing Wells Fargo (the lender for our mortgage). Also present were the Sellers and their attorney, an attorney for Wells Fargo, the Sellers' Real Estate agent, and a Notary Public. The closing lasted about 3.5 hours and involved signing dozens of documents and writing a lot of checks, but we are done and are now the legal owners of the Condo in Park Slope, Brooklyn! We're thrilled to own a place in a new neighborhood that is in good shape, won't require a lot of work, has more space than the one-bedroom we're renting now, and has a washer and dryer (!).

We got home after the closing around 5:30 pm and I was glad to take off my tight shoes and wind down. Michael reminded me that our friend, Sheila, was expecting us to visit a run-down studio that evening that she'd heard about from Alex (friend who is real estate agent). She asked us to take assess the unit and offer a second opinion before the unit gets listed publicly, since she was booked every evening last week and wouldn't be able to check it out herself directly before the unit was publicly listed.

I put on tennis shoes and we jumped in a taxi to check out the "studio fixer-upper". I asked Michael how we'd be able to get in to see this place, and he dodged the question, but I didn't think much of it.

When we got to the door of the unit Sheila asked us to visit, Michael rang the bell, and I was expecting an estate agent or building supervisor to open the door. Instead, Sheila opened it. The first thought that went through my head was "What is Sheila doing here?", and then I looked past her and saw a beautiful marble kitchen and living room, and thought "this is definitely not a studio, and definitely NOT a dump!", and then I realized Kerri, Meredith, Shari, Nigel, Alex and Shannan were standing behind Sheila smiling and saying "Surprise!". It finally sunk in that it was a surprise party/baby shower and I was truly surprised. Michael & Sheila came up with a credible set up!

The party was at Kerri's apartment, which is beautiful, and there was a great table of food lined up. The group played a wine-tasting game, and we opened shower gifts. Michael and I received gift certificates for Babies R Us (Kerri, Meredith, Jenna & Volpi), some cute clothes (Meredith, Kerri, Shari & Nigel), a funny book "3-Martini Playdates" and swaddling blanket (Shannan), and a very cool Keith Haring rocking horse (Sheila). It was a fun visit -- everyone has a lot going on. Shari and Nigel are getting married on June 2nd in Montauk; Jenna is training to do the Ironman in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, in June!; Meredith is plotting a career change; Kerri got back just a few months ago from a 4-month trip around the world, etc. so it was fun to catch up with everyone. Thanks to the generous gifts from our families, friends (and 2005 US tax refunds), we'll be well set up for the Bean when he/she arrives.

33 week check-up (Wednesday, May 2)

2007-05-05T19:28:00.000-07:00

Weight: 175 pounds (same as last visit -- thank heavens); Vitals: 120/80

Michael and I saw Dr. Holden today. The Bean's heartbeat sounded good, and Dr. Holden said that we are on target and progressing normally. He indicated we'll have one more sonogram -- on or near the due date, and will start seeing him weekly around 36 weeks. Next visit, I'll be tested for Group B Strep (http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/pregnancy/prenatalhealth/1647.html). We will also meet two other doctors in the practice who share on-call responsibilities.

We went to our first Birth Preparation class tonight, taught by Fern Drillings, the woman who also instructed us in the Baby CPR class. There are about 15 couples in the class, all due this summer. One other woman and I are the two scheduled to deliver the soonest.
There is couple in the class expecting twins, and one couple that looks a lot younger than the rest of us -- in their early or mid-twenties -- and both women look great. No extra weight anywhere except their bellies.

I used to fantasize that it would be great to have twins so that we'd have two kids at the same time and could get all the vaginal deliveries/pain out of the way at once. Now that I've been through the drill with this single pregnancy, including digesting all the probabilities of potential problems for singletons, twins and multiples, I realized a singleton is plenty. There's a lot more to stress about with two in the oven at the same time... What if you only felt one move, and not the other, or the nurse could only find one baby's heartbeat and not the other's at an exam? etc.

There were some weird questions by some of the fathers in the class tonight:
+ Do I HAVE to hold my wife's hand during the delivery? (He was afraid his wife would break his hand by squeezing too hard during her labor. Fern's answer: You'll do whatever she tells you to do.)
+ Is there a sheet or barrier that shields her lower half during delivery? (He doesn't want to see the blood and stuff around the delivery... Fern's answer: No barrier, no sheet. It's all there and you'll be seeing it all, so if you can't handle the blood and stuff, ask for a chair and sit 'upstream' near your wife's shoulders, or leave the room.)

The winner of the weirdest question award goes to a father in Emma & Alan's birth class. Emma told me that when she and Alan went to Birth classes in San Francisco to prepare for Senan's arrival, one of the fathers in their class asked if he could breast feed the baby himself too, acknowledging he wouldn't be providing any milk, but wanting the bonding opportunity (!)...

Elbows and feet?

2007-04-24T18:49:00.000-07:00

He or she moved a lot today, all day. This is a new phase of sensation when the Bean moves. In February and March, the movements were brief - like a punch or kick from inside, but my belly felt like a big water balloon and it wasn't clear where the baby was or what was going on. Now, when I run my hands over my belly, the overall shape has often changed, and sometimes its possible to feel small lumps sticking out, usually near the belly button. It's unclear if the lump is a knee, elbow or foot, but if if I gently press it, it moves away! It's apparent the baby is getting bigger, and there's less room inside, so when he/she moves, we can see shapes slide from one side to another. Michael and I laugh a lot now when looking at the belly after meals, and are amazed by the movements.

People ask when I'm due now, and say "You must be ready to have the baby... Aren't you fed up with being so big?" I haven't gotten to the point where I'm physically uncomfortable yet. My walk has become more awkward (penguin-like), and my pelvis gets stiff after sitting for long periods of time, but it's not uncomfortable.

I'll be glad when the baby arrives so that we can both see it and watch it, and I can retire anxieties about what's happening 'inside'. We're both very excited about the Bean's arrival.

8-month Checkup (April 20, 2007)

2007-04-21T15:38:00.000-07:00

Weight: 175 pounds (40+ pound gain since getting pregnant!)
Blood pressure: 110/70

I met Dr. Hadden today as part of a rotation every two weeks to meet all 5 doctors that take turns being on duty for the labor/delivery ward at Columbia Presbyterian. By doing this, whichever doctor is on duty in the labor/delivery ward and I will be somewhat familiar when the time comes to deliver.

Dr. Hadden looks as though he's in his early or mid-fifties and said he's been practicing for 25+ years. He said there's a 50 - 70% chance that Dr. Holden will help me deliver versus one of the other doctors.

I assumed this visit would be a handshake and brief conversation, but for each visit from now on (roughly every two weeks), I'll get a pregnancy checkup including urine test, weight, vitals and monitoring of the the baby's heartbeat.

The nurse found the Bean's heartbeat low on my belly on the left side, but as soon as the monitor tracked the heartbeat, the baby shifted and we couldn't hear it anymore. She moved the monitor and found the heartbeat again, but the Bean shifted and heartbeat went away again. Finally, she trained it near the center and we heard the heartbeat for several seconds. We both laughed. The nurse said she hasn't seen a baby shy away from the monitor in a long time -- the monitor makes a loud crackling noise, and the Bean doesn't like it.

Dr. Hadden measured my abdomen from pubic bone to fundus (top of uterus) and said I'm tracking at 32 weeks, in line with the other measurements taken over the past couple of months confirming mid-June for the due date. He felt my abdomen and said he could feel the Bean's head down near my pubic bone and back/butt up and to my right, all of which is normal.

His only warning to me at the appointment was to try not to gain any more weight. He said "Anything over 35 pounds is yours to keep" (meaning it will be harder to lose after the baby is born) and there's also a risk that if I gain more weight the baby will also get bigger, creating a harder labor situation. I'm embarrassed to write about this today, but am trying to be honest for the journal.

Attached is a picture from about 3 weeks ago (week 28)... [Demi Moore/Vanity Fair copy cat shot - Take 2]

Starting Baby Classes

2007-04-18T18:31:00.000-07:00

BABY CPR
On Monday night this week, we went to a baby Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation (CPR) class. The instructor was a senior RN named Fern Drillings who works in the Obstetrics ward at Columbia Presbyterian.

At the start of the class, the instructor asked everyone in the room to introduce themselves and share their due date or the age(s) of the child(ren) they have. There were roughly 26 people in the class -- many couples who are pregnant at various stages, some parents who've had children within the last 9 months, and at least 4 - 5 nannies, some who were there with their employers.

There was one woman in the class who is at the 38-week mark who looks the same size as me though I'm 31 weeks... and a couple of other women who are due in June who looked less 'large' than me, leading me to realize I am indeed on the 'biggish' side for this stage. So although it's a bummer when people in the office go "You're huge!", I realized they are right.

She gave us a brief overview of procedures to follow for a range of injuries or ailments that could affect infants and toddlers, ranging from burns and fevers to choking relief procedures and CPR.

CPR has evolved since I took a class 15 years ago. In the last five years, the health industry has updated the CPR protocol, and the good news is that the number of breaths and compressions is now the same for all ages.

Baby CPR differs from adult CPR now only in terms of the amount of pressure put on the sternum (chest) when doing compressions [for babies: two fingers only, pressing down 1/2 - 1 inch vs. for adults: using palms -- one over the other -- and pressing down 1-2 inches)].

The current CPR procedure for any age is:
1) Call 911
2) (Person lying on back) Tip head back to create clear airway passage
3) Check for indications of breathing (by listening/feeling for breath and watching chest)
4) Give 2 breaths - check that airway is clear (by looking for rising of the chest)
5) If airway is not clear, follow procedure to clear airway, and then proceed to CPR
6) If airway is clear, proceed with CPR:
2 breaths + 30 compressions
2 breaths + 30 compressions
(repeat until medical help arrives or person recovers consciousness and breathes on his/her own)

OBSTETRICS ANESTHESIA
Tonight Michael and I attended a free lecture on anesthesia and analgesic options available at Columbia Presbyterian, given by the Chief Anesthesiologist, Dr. Richard Smiley. He has a staff of seven Anesthesiologists and the eight of them rotate duty 24/7 and typically have 1-2 senior resident doctors in tow per anesthesiologist during each shift to perform or observe the procedures.

Fun fact: Dr. Smiley is the fourth Chief Anesthesiologist to lead the OB anesthesiology department at Columbia Presbyterian since Virginia Apgar - the most famous female physician of modern times - who pioneered the Apgar test for newborns. See here:
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/changingthefaceofmedicine/physicians/biography_12.html
Dr. Smiley clearly enjoys his work -- his presentation was interspersed with pictures from a past sabbatical in Switzerland, a picture of his dog, and photos from a visit to a museum in France featuring the work of Volti, an Italian artist who made sculptures and works of art about women - especially pregnant women. Added bonus: free food and beverages were provided.

The trend now and the goal of the OB anesthesiologists is to provide analgesia (moderate pain relief while still enabling movement and sensation) vs anasthesia (complete numbness and loss of feeling - e.g. for surgery).

Dr. Smiley covered the pain relief options in great detail, including epidural, spinal block, IV, and the benefits, risks, side-effects and specific dosages and types of medication used.

More than 80% of women who give birth at Columbia Presbyterian opt for pain relief, and the majority get a combination spinal epidural (CSE) for which the patient can give themselves additional dosages to a controlled degree. The procedure involves the insertion of a soft catheter into the epidural area of the lower spine. The epidural catheter is taped to the back and stays in for several hours until delivery, and allows some degree of mobility though walking is not generally encouraged.

Michael enjoyed the presentation very much. I found it useful and learned a lot, but given my aversion to needles and the low (but possible) risks and side effects, I'd like to try and soldier through as long as I can without using an epidural. Have read many blogs online and many friends and colleagues have said "whatever you do, get the epidural!", and Columbia hospital statistics show that 85%+ of women who give birth at the hospital opt for pain relief, so it is very popular, and if I did pass it up, I'd be in a very small minority.

By the end of the lecture, the room was very hot and the topic made me feel queasy so I was glad to leave. We are both glad we attended; we'll be well-informed and reasonably prepared for whatever happens in June.

I spoke to my mom and learned she received anasthesia when I was born (either a spinal or epidural), and she said she got a painful headache afterward -- one of the side-effects of a spinal block, though they've recently been able to reduce the probability of a headache significantly.

Pictures - 31 weeks along

2007-04-14T13:00:00.000-07:00

Bean is moving a lot and because he/she is bigger (approximately 15 inches in length and 3 pounds...), it's easier to see and feel movements. I used to feel the occasional sharp kick (or punch?), but now it's possible to see turns and shifts in position. Bumps move across my belly and the whole shape changes, etc.

We bought a denim Bugaboo stroller a few weeks ago and it arrived this week. Michael assembled it today and it was fun to wheel around the apartment and take our photos with it. Nice ride for the Bean!

Here are pictures.

Flight Travel While Pregnant

2007-04-07T19:12:00.000-07:00

I went on a 1.5-week business trip to California two weeks ago. After checking in at JFK airport, I went through security. My purse and all its contents, computer bag, and luggage all cleared the x-ray machine without any special check or inspection. I then walked through the sensor and cleared without any problems, but the TSA agent asked me to step in a glass box and wait to be checked again.

I waited in the glass box for 15 minutes until a female agent came into the area who could perform the search. Another 10 or 15 minutes of time passed before I was asked to leave the box, and it coincided with the arrival of a second female agent. The two female agents asked me to step into a private office, where I removed my shoes, got scanned with a wand, and then physically frisked. I asked why I was getting searched, and they said that a heightened security alert was in play highlighting the risk of women travelers who may appear to be pregnant but could be disguising explosives or other illegal substances in fake bumps. I asked why I had to wait in the box for so long, and they said that any pregnant woman who gets checked will be checked in a private office, which requires two female officers -- one to perform the search, and the other to witness.

Once I was released and went to the gate, I learned that my flight had departed already. I asked about getting on the next flight 2 hours later, and was assured that there would be no problem getting a seat even though I was on standby status. However, when the next flight arrived and all the passengers had boarded, I still hadn't been called to get on the plane. I went to the agents, and they told me the flight was full, and that I would need to wait for the next flight (3 hours later).

At this point, the day was shaping up to be a bust and I started crying (hormones!). The agent took pity on me and I got the last seat on the flight. They held the plane and allowed me to board before it took off. Although I wish I'd been able to avoid crying, it probably helped my case.

When I landed in San Francisco, I dug around the bottom of my purse to retrieve my itinerary for the car rental, and discovered a 6" steak knife. I've been taking a knife to the office to cut apples and pears for snacks, and forgot to remove it that morning before leaving for the airport. The steak knife cleared the security check at JFK with no notice, and I was allowed to carry it onto the plane... Don't worry about the serrated-edge knife in her purse; let's make sure that belly is bona fide!

On the weekend, I took a shuttle flight from San Francisco to Santa Barbara to visit my parents for two days. On the flight from Santa Barbara back to San Francisco, I was seated in an exit row. When the flight attendant noticed my shape, she asked me to switch seats with another passenger so that I was no longer in an exit row. He didn't seem to mind, since it was an aisle seat just one row ahead of his original seat, and I didn't mind either.

Done with airline travel for now until the Bean arrives.

7-month Checkup (April 4, 2007)

2007-04-07T18:48:00.000-07:00

Weight: 173 pounds, a 36-pound gain since the start of the pregnancy (!)
Blood pressure: 110/70

The fun news at this appointment is that Dr. Holden and his wife had their 2nd child - a girl - on Saturday (Mar 31st). He and his wife have a 2-year old boy too. We asked him how he and his wife got to the hospital, and he said they took a taxi -- same strategy as for their first child. He also said that another doctor delivered the baby; Dr. Holden was there as a husband/father only. He said his wife doesn't like getting advice from him when she's pregnant, which was funny.

This appointment went quickly. We listened to the Bean's heartbeat and it sounded good. The monitor that the nurse used this session did not provide a digital readout of the number of beats per minute, so I am not able to record that data for this entry, but in general, the Bean's heart rate is faster than mine.

He said I look good, all signs are good, and we can keep on truckin. Because Dr. Holden is part of a team of 6 doctors that takes turns being on call at nights and on weekends, I will meet each of the other doctors every couple of weeks so that regardless of who is on call when the Bean finally arrives, the doctor who assists will not be a complete stranger if the time comes and Dr. Holden is not available.

I received a shot of Rhogam in the rear end to prevent any blood incompatibility issues with the Bean, and then we all went back to work.

Prescription Prenatal Vitamins

2007-03-13T15:10:00.000-07:00

Citracal Prenatal + DHA Pak

Each prenatal tablet
Vitamin A (Vitamin A palmitate) - 2700 IU
Vitamin C (Ascorbic Acid) - 120 mg
Calcium (Calcium citrate) - 125 mg
Iron (Carbonyl iron, Ferrous gluconate) - 27 mg
Vitamin D3 (Cholecalciferol) - 400 IU
Vitamin E (di-alpha tocopheryl acetate) - 30 IU
Thiamin (Vitamin B1) - 3 mg
Riboflavin (Vitamin B2) - 3.2 mg
Niacinamide (Vitamin B3) - 20 mg
Vitamin B6 (Pyridoxine) - 20 mg
Folic Acid - 1 mg
Iodine (Potasium iodide) - 150 mg
Zinc (Zinc oxide) - 25 mg
Copper (Cupric oxide) - 2 mg
Docusate Sodium - 50 mg

Each DHA capsule
Docosahexaenoic Acid (DHA) - 250 mg
DHA is contained in the oil derived from microalgae.

Upsides & downsides of being pregnant

2007-03-13T14:46:00.000-07:00

Upsides
+ baby movements, kicking (affirmation that baby is ok)
+ thinking about life after baby is born
+ thinking about the Bean, and what he or she will look like
+ panhandlers leave me alone in Penn Station and on 8th Ave when they notice the bump
+ men and women more inclined to strike up conversation and ask about due date
+ can take afternoon naps without feeling as guilty as when not pregnant; can blame gas, burps and anything else unpleasant on the baby (that was the baby, not me...)
+ no periods or cramps for months!
+ people offer seats on the subway, and even offer to let me go ahead of them in line

Downsides
+ a lot of moles appearing on my neck and torso (increased hormones)
+ tired, overweight, absent-minded, clumsy
+ shoes are tighter
+ sore hip joints while sleeping on sides
+ frequent blood tests
+ getting knocked in the bladder
+ pants with fixed waistbands
+ no interest in getting dressed to go to work or socialize...elastic waistband pajamas and over-the-belly maternity pants preferred
+ chest has gotten bigger so that boobs now rest on top of the belly when I'm sitting down (not attractive), but not so big I need larger bra size...
+ crumbs in cleavage and all over belly after most meals

Car chase (March 10, 2007)

2007-03-10T15:00:00.000-08:00

On the walk to Whole Foods to buy groceries this afternoon, I bumped into a crowd gathering at 7th Avenue on 25th Street. 7th Avenue was cordoned off to film a high speed car chase for the movie "Bourne Ultimatum", starring Matt Damon. Pedestrians were asked to wait inside stores and on street corners until the car chase scene was completed for safety reasons. Shortly after I arrived, Matt Damon drove a NY City Police car at high speed down 7th and took a sharp left at 25th, followed closely by a black SUV with a camera mounted on the roof. On the way home, along 25th while walking toward 8th Avenue, I passed several residential trailers (for cast or crew) as a trailer that had 6 lavatories (3 labeled 'Stunts', 2 labeled 'star', and one labeled 'ladies'), and one or two scrubby looking guys with cameras hanging around to get photos.

In terms of celebrity sightings while living in NYC, I've seen Sarah Jessica Parker shopping at Whole Foods, Jodie Foster shopping at Design Within Reach, Tom Brady and Giselle Bundchen walking hand-in-hand near the Spotted Pig, where we went for my birthday brunch in February, and Molly Shannon walking and talking on her cell phone on 60th Street.

My sugar test results were within normal range.

6-Month Checkup (Wednesday, Feb 28th, 2007)

2007-02-28T18:33:00.000-08:00

25 weeks

Weight: 160 pounds (!)

Vitals: 110/60

Bean: 132 beats/minute

Visit went quickly. I took a sugar test -- will get results next Wednesday. Doctor said he thinks my risk of gestational diabetes is low, and although I'm heavier than I've ever been, he said I'm within 25 pounds of my original weight, and has no worries. I'm ok to travel to San Jose in March.

Bean's heartbeat was 132 and my blood pressure is low, both of which are positive.

Next visit is in April, and I'll get a shot of Rhogam (becuase of potential differences in my blood type vs Michael's). No other blood tests will be needed now until it's time to deliver. We will have one more routine ultrasound at week 36 or 38.

--------------------------------------

Rhogam: Rh0 immunoglobulin, also called anti-Rh or anti-D immunoglobulin. An injectable blood product used to protect an Rh-positive fetus from antibodies by its Rh-negative mother. The idea underlying Rhogam is if anti-Rh antibody is given soon after delivery, it blocks the sensitization of the mother and prevents Rh disease from occurring in the woman's next Rh-positive child. Rhogam is now given routinely to Rh-negative women after pregnancies in which they carried Rh-positive fetuses to prevent the mother's immune system from reacting to the Rh-positive blood of any subsequent fetus. Rhogam was developed in the 1960s by Dr. Vincent J. Freda (1927-2003), professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Columbia University.Source: MedicalNet.com http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=11961

Hormonal changes or just heavier?

2007-02-24T09:31:00.000-08:00

Michael and I can SEE kicks and movement sometimes, usually after dinner, and it's possible to feel my pulse rate easily through my abdomen.

At the 6-month mark, I now weigh more than I have ever weighed.
+ spreading feet - shoes and boots are tight in the width
+ hip joints ache (usually whichever side I've slept on)
+ itchy skin over the abdomen

According to the most recent update the Baby Center sent, my uterus is the size of a soccer ball and the bean is approximately 12 inches long and weighs about one pound.

Year of the Pig (Feb 17 2007)

2007-02-17T15:20:00.000-08:00

February 18 marks the beginning of the Chinese New Year. This next year is the year of the Pig (Boar) -- DingHai-- year 4704 according to the Chinese calendar.

The Bean will be born in the year of the Fire Pig (Boar).

According to various sources, the Boar ( 豬 ) is associated with fertility and virility. To bear children in the year of the pig is considered very fortunate, for they will be happy and honest. Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pig_%28zodiac%29 [

Pictured: Melissa & the Bean at 5 months, 3 weeks... Demi Moore/Vanity Fair shot - Take 1]

More about the Chinese Zodiac:
Legend has it that in ancient times, Buddha asked all the animals to meet him on Chinese New Year. Twelve came, and Buddha named a year after each one. He announced that the people born in each animal's year would have some of that animal's personality. Those born in pig years tend to have excellent manners, make and keep friends, work very hard, and appreciate luxury. They are very loving and make loyal partners.
Source: http://www.infoplease.com/spot/chinesenewyear1.html

People born in the Year of the Boar are honest and tolerant and make good friends, but tend to expect the same from everyone else, and more often than not they end up disappointed. They thrive in the arts as entertainers.
Source: http://www.c-c-c.org/chineseculture/zodiac/zodiac.html

Patterns Emerging (Feb 14)

2007-02-14T10:37:00.000-08:00

I've been feeling the bean move every day since February 4th, and at various times each day. The two times of the day when I can almost predict the baby will move are in the early mornings before getting out of bed and in the evenings after dinner.

I mentioned this pattern to my mom on Sunday over breakfast, and she said those times correlated with times when Ben and I had been fussy as babies even though we'd been fed, changed, burped, etc.

Layla and the Monarchs (February 12)

2007-02-12T15:29:00.000-08:00

This past weekend, we visited Mike and Latifa McQuiggan and their daughter, Layla (13 months old). Mike and Latifa shared lots of stories about their experience with Laya so far (all good!). Layla does not eat baby food; they feed her the same things they eat for meals (and have been doing so since month 6 or 7). She's a good sleeper, a determined walker now (see picture) and really fun to watch.

After lunch, we went for a walk to Elwood Grove, one of the largest breeding sites in the U.S. for Monarch butterflies, and the bluffs along the beach. The pictures here are of Layla and me starting the walk; and Michael and me standing on Elwood bluffs (size-wise, I've just passed the 5.5 month mark); and Mike, Latifa and Layla posed on Mike's favorite form of transportation. Here's Layla's website: http://www.pbase.com/layla_f/root

First Movement

2007-02-04T05:15:00.000-08:00

This morning I felt the first movement that can be attributed to the Bean! While laying on my left side (fretting about real estate costs and taxes), I felt a movement that was stronger than a flutter in the lower left area of my abdomen -- as though the skin had been given a push from the inside. I put my hand on the spot where it happened, and felt it again. Confirmed! Over the past 4 weeks, I've felt twinges and other uncomfortable sensations that later could be attributed to gas, hunger or random rumblings. Because I felt the bump from the outside with my hand, I'm ruling out gas or some intestinal thing. This is the best birthday present!

Maternity Pants

2007-02-02T13:22:00.000-08:00

Finally bought maternity pants (on sale at the Gap): 2 pairs of jeans, a pair of black pants for work, and a pair of brown drawstring pants. The black pants are the most comfortable -- they have a panel that stretches over the entire belly -- but I live in the jeans every day that I don't need to be dressed up for work, which is most days. Hoping this set gets me through the summer.

5-Month Check-up

2007-02-01T12:25:00.000-08:00

20 weeks: weight 153 pounds; blood pressure 117/70.

Dr. Holden said everything looks good. Last week's sonogram at 19 weeks was normal so no follow-up tests or ultrasounds are scheduled at this point. True to form, the baby moved around so much it was difficult for the nurse to find the heartbeat with the monitor, but we found it eventually. **I love this little bean.**

Next month I'll go back for 6-month check-up (early March) and will get the standard sugar test. All pregnant women get tested in the US at 6 months for signs of gestational diabetes. The test will take an hour, and will involve drinking sugar water, waiting sixty minutes, and then giving blood for testing purposes (insulin levels).

19-Week Sonogram: The Bean is Jumping (Fri Jan 19)

2007-01-22T19:42:00.000-08:00

We went for the 19-week ultrasound today at 1:30 pm. This is a standard test prescribed for all pregnancies to measure the development of the internal organs and bone structure of the baby.

We saw the spinal cord, bones in the arms, legs, hands and feet (10 toes), the four chambers of the heart (!), etc. The baby's arms were bent and hands were in front of its face a lot during the screening, so it was difficult to see the face. This is the second sonogram at which the radiologists commented that the baby is very active and so was difficult to measure! She asked if I had eaten just before the appointment (I hadn't). She also mentioned she felt a hardness on my left side and asked if I have a cyst or have had one in the past (I said no). She said it was nothing to worry about. I will investigate after the baby is born.

An ultrasound technician looked at the Bean from all angles, took measurements and said everything looked normal. The Chief Radiologist on staff followed up to check measurements and agreed that everything looks good. In total, we spent an hour in the ultrasound getting screened. The radiologist said the baby is still on track for a delivery date of June 15th (size-wise).

From the radiologist's point of view, everything is developing normally so they are not recommending the need for any follow-up. Since we elected not to find out the sex of the baby, the radiologists hid the screen for part of the examination.

Now that the baby is getting bigger and I've seen it moving, I'm more aware of having a baby inside (vs what had felt mostly like an unpredictable medical condition). Things have progressed smoothly so far, my bump is noticeable, and I'm more conscious now that everything I eat is feeding two of us.

Bump

2007-01-13T10:19:00.000-08:00

This week (week 18) my stomach stuck out more than my chest. The doorman in our lobby noticed I'm expecting.

4-Month Check-up (Wednesday, January 3, 2007)

2007-01-03T19:08:00.000-08:00

16-week checkup: weight 148 pounds; blood pressure 117/70.

Today was our 4-month visit. My weight has gone up 10 pounds (what?!). Blood pressure remains low. My trousers fit the same so hope the extra weight is due mostly to bigger breasts, the bump and the clothes I was wearing. The results of the blood tests from the last visit were all negative (HIV, anemia, STDs, etc).

It took awhile for the nurse to find the Bean’s heartbeat but she found it low in my abdomen. The heartbeat would fade as the baby moved away from the monitor, but the nurse tracked its movement and charted the heart rate between 145 – 152 beats per minute, which she said was good.

The fetal heartbeat sounds ike a "sh sh sh sh" sound (vs. thump thump thump). The nurse said it's fetal bowels we're hearing.

Dr. Holden told us there was a mix-up with our final CVS test results (!). The preliminary lab results that were given to us were accurate. The first set of final results that the geneticist gave me via a phone message were actually for a different ‘Melissa’. However, during the follow-up phone call to discuss final results in person, the results she shared were ours, and were normal as well. Although there was a mix-up, there has been no harm done.

Mentioned to Dr. Holden that it is easy to wonder about the health of the baby since I can’t feel anything yet. He said this is a common concern for women in the early part of the second trimester -- ‘no mans land’ -- since there are no direct signs of progress other than the bump getting bigger.

We can expect to start feeling the Bean move in the 5^th month (February). At the next visit, he will teach me tactics to feel the baby and look for signs that things are ok.

We are scheduled for an ultrasound on January 19^th and the next monthly visit on February 1^st.

They took blood before I left the office to test spinal cord development in the baby. This time I laid on a table during the test and had no problems.

I noticed that another woman who had gone in for an appointment ahead of mine was laying on the floor with her feet propped up on the wall after having just given blood. Happy to see I'm not the only one who struggles to stay upright for blood tests.

On to more interesting news: an article published by Finnish scientists in New Science Magazine reported that women who eat chocolate regularly during their pregnancies are more likely to have placid babies. Big thanks to Carey -- a friend in Australia and new mom for the 2nd time -- for mentioning this study! www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn4854

"Six months after birth, the researchers asked mothers to rate their infants' behaviour in various categories, including fear, soothability, smiling and laughter.

The babies born to women who had been eating chocolate daily during pregnancy were more active and "positively reactive" - a measure that encompasses traits such as smiling and laughter. And the babies of stressed women who had regularly consumed chocolate showed less fear of new situations than babies of stressed women who abstained.

The researchers point out that they cannot rule out the possibility that chocolate consumption and baby behaviour are both linked with some other factor. But they speculate that the effects they observed could result from chemicals in chocolate associated with positive mood being passed on to the baby in the womb."

Journal reference: Early Human Development (vol 76, p 139)

Ate some Hersheys Dark Chocolate tonight in support of the research. :-)

What's Happening In There? (Tuesday, 2 January 2007)

2007-01-03T18:59:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the first of ongoing monthly check-ups with Dr. Holden to track progress. Am keen to hear the Bean’s heartbeat. Can’t feel any movement yet, so wonder if everything is ok. When I bend over quickly with a full stomach, does he/she get squashed?

We are approaching the 4-month mark and the bump is starting to show. I can wear my normal trousers and jeans as long as I pull the waistband below the equator.

Kim (friend in Australia) is pregnant too, and her due date is two weeks after mine. We received pictures of their recent 3-D sonogram, but I decided not to look at them… Not eager to see pictures of other babies or watch documentaries of other women giving birth because it provides more data by which to worry if our own experience isn't similar.

There was an hour-long documentary on TV the other day tracking the experience of a woman going into labor with her second child. She checked in at the desk and was put onto a hospital bed with an IV that included pitocin to accelerate contractions, which looked like it made her uncomfortable. A doctor came in to assess how many centimeters she was dilated by putting a glove on and putting her whole hand up the women's v***** (ouch). Then they discussed an epidural and I saw the woman sitting up in bed hugging her husband while an Anesthetist advanced behind her with a very big needle (ouch again).

Got queasy and turned the TV off. In my case, less information is better, so there is less to fret about.

Good news confirmed (Friday, 15 December 2006)

2007-01-03T18:57:00.000-08:00

Jennifer and I spoke by phone and she confirmed the good news. All is well genetically speaking.

We elected not to find out the sex of the baby, though it is very tempting. She and Dr. Holden have copies of the results, so if we change our mind, we can ask either of them and they’ll tell us.

I find myself referring to the Bean as 'him' but hope that we'll have a girl, though we'll be thrilled with a healthy baby, period.

Preliminary good news... (Monday, 11 December 2006)

2007-01-03T18:55:00.000-08:00

Jennifer, the genetic counselor who works for Dr. Wapner, left a voicemail message today saying “Excellent news. Your preliminary test results are in. Good news. Please call me.” I knew she wouldn’t say ‘excellent’ in a voicemail message if there were any problems with the results, which are 95% accurate. Got teary with relief about the good news on the plane as we taxied to the terminal. The lady who sat next to me asked if I was ok, and I told her I had gotten good news in spite of looking like I was crying. I can cry at the drop of a hat these days... the news (good or bad), certain TV commercials, etc. I've been like this since September, and now I know why. Hormones.

CVS Test (Thursday, 7 December 2006)

2007-01-03T18:50:00.000-08:00

I returned to the Columbia-Presbyterian offices to get the CVS test. The first step was a level II sonogram. The radiologist was a woman who has worked with Dr. Wapner for years and was very easy-going. Because she was upbeat and calm, it helped me relax. She showed me the baby on-screen, and we saw legs and arms moving! She took measurements, confirmed we were at 12 weeks and 5 days, and performed Nuchal Fold measurements http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/pregnancy/prenatalhealth/118.html saying the baby looked normal and there were no indications of Down Syndrome. She gave me two copies of sonogram pictures.

The Bean still looks like ET.

After approximately 20 minutes, Dr. Wapner came in, and they agreed that the transabdominal version of CVS would be safest in my case, based on where the baby was located within my uterus (the alternative is trans-vaginal). Dr. Wapner looks like Dr. Who – tall with a lot of curly hair. He used a transducer to insert the needle, and in less than 60 seconds, was finished withdrawing material. We talked movies while he performed the test, and he recommended I see “The Queen” starring Helen Mirren, because of the years I lived in Windsor, England, near the castle.

The use of a topical anesthesia is not used for this procedure. At least half of women who have undergone CVS in the past indicated the pain caused by an anesthesia shot was not worth mitigating the pain of the second bigger needle used for the procedure. With my general phobia of needles, I was onboard with using as few needles as possible and willing to have more pain if it meant getting through the procedure as quickly as possible.

When the test was done, Dr. Wapner said the procedure could not have gone more smoothly and indicated I'd have no problems as a result of getting the test. Preliminary results will be available early next week, and final results within 10 days.

Because my blood type (Rh) is A negative and Michael may have a positive blood type (we don't know his), I was given a shot of Rhogam (1) in the rear end before leaving the office, and will now get a Rhogam shot around week 26 and once more after delivery. In this case, I received Rhogam during pregnancy because the CVS procedure (like Amniocentesis) introduces the slight risk that the baby's blood or DNA could interact with mine, and cause my blood to create antibodies against the baby's blood (if the baby has a positive blood type).

I got dressed and felt surprisingly steady on my feet. Took the subway home, laid on the couch, ordered pizza for dinner and watched TV. Slept soundly for the first time this week!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

(1) Rhogam: Rh0 immunoglobulin, also called anti-Rh or anti-D immunoglobulin. An injectable blood product used to protect an Rh-positive fetus from antibodies by its Rh-negative mother. The idea underlying Rhogam is if anti-Rh antibody is given soon after delivery, it blocks the sensitization of the mother and prevents Rh disease from occurring in the woman's next Rh-positive child. Rhogam is now given routinely to Rh-negative women after pregnancies in which they carried Rh-positive fetuses to prevent the mother's immune system from reacting to the Rh-positive blood of any subsequent fetus. Rhogam was developed in the 1960s by Dr. Vincent J. Freda (1927-2003), professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Columbia University.

Source: MedicalNet.com http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=11961

3-Month Check-up: Finding a Doctor Who Delivers! (Wednesday, 6 December 2006)

2007-01-03T18:26:00.000-08:00

3-Month Checkup: weight 137.5 pounds, blood pressure 110/70.

My cousins and friends gave us recommendations for obstetricians, but those that I could track down were unavailable – no longer do deliveries, were booked for the next six months, not accepting new patients, or don’t accept any form of insurance. Who knew it would be such a challenge to find a doctor that delivers in Manhattan?

Today I met Dr. Holden for the first time, and the visit coincides with a 12-week checkup. He is part of an obstetrical practice associated with Columbia Presbyterian Hospital – reputed to be one of the best in the city for delivering babies and providing neonatal care. He reviewed the test results from the first doctor visit and took a history of my health, Michael’s health, and the events leading up to this visit. He looks young…younger than us, but seems competent, cheerful, and mentioned he is married with a young son. That’s a good sign… at least he’s married and has been through one birth of his own! He gave me all his office numbers and his cell phone number and encouraged me to call anytime for any reason.

I was directed to an exam room, where a nurse took my vitals and put a fetal heart monitor on my abdomen to listen for the fetal heartbeat. Initially, we couldn’t hear anything and I started to worry, but the nurse assured me that when the fetus is small, as it is at week 12 (about 3-4" long!), it takes time to find the heartbeat. Within a few moments, she found the heartbeat, and it was very rapid. Pelvic exam normal.

After the exam, Dr. Holden and I regrouped in his office. He advised me that because of my age, we should decide whether to get genetic testing – either Chorionic Villis Sampling (CVS) http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/pregnancy/prenatalhealth/328.html or Amniocentesis http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/pregnancy/prenatalhealth/327.html?ccRelLink=&url=%2Frefcap%2Fpregnancy%2Fprenatalhealth%2F328.html&xTopic=prenattest&bus=content– -- to confirm the health of the baby.

Women who are 35 or older at the time of delivery are encouraged to take either the CVS or Amniocentesis test (and insurance companies cover the cost). While there are risks associated with both procedures, the probability of finding a genetic problem with the baby is greater than the probability of complications resulting from either procedure because of the statistics associated with maternal age. Before I left the appointment, Dr. Holden and I agreed to meet once a month going forward for progress visits.

I am not going to look further for a doctor – glad to find someone who is positive, seemingly trustworthy, and makes himself available to answer questions anytime. My initial thinking about wanting a female OB has gone out the window; other worries eclipsed any hesitation I had about a male doctor performing pelvic exams, and Emma and others assure me that when the Bean is born, any shyness I had about strangers seeing 'my business' will disappear.

Before I left the office, I gave several vials of blood for tests, including HIV. The nurse asked me to sit in a chair in a very small office (claustrophobic). When she was done, I fainted, and woke up on the floor with my feet propped up on the wall. After a few minutes of laying down, my equilibrium was back and I was up and ready to go home. The nurses told me its pretty common, but it's a bummer that it's a challenge for me to stay upright for blood tests.

Tonight ranks as one of the most stressful I can remember in recent times. Lots of crying on the phone to Michael, my parents, Emma, and my brother. The CVS procedure is scary and I dread the risk to the baby, as well as the decisions we face if the results aren’t good. At what point (if any) would aborting feel like the humane thing to do? In cases of Trisomy 13 or 18 where the baby would suffer severe birth defects and would not be projected to live longer than 12 months (in pain and on life support systems)? The risk of CVS complications is slightly higher than amniocentesis, and the safety of the test depends heavily on the experience of the doctor performing it. On the positive side, the geneticist, also a Melissa, told me Dr. Wapner pioneered the procedure, has performed more than 22,000 of them, and does about 80 a month. She said if she had to get the test, he’s the only one she’d trust, and he comes to Columbia every Thursday to perform the test for those that need it.

I’m 12 weeks and 5 days, so this is the last week of opportunity for me to take the test. Need to do it tomorrow, or wait until week 18-20 for Amniocentesis. After discussing the options with Michael by phone tonight (he is on a business trip this week), we agreed that CVS would be the best plan because of the ability to get results more quickly than amniocentesis, and Dr. Wapner sounds like the best man to do it.

Michael won’t be back until the day after this test, so I’ll be on my own tomorrow.

A Due Date and Nickname for Baby! (Friday, 17 November 2006)

2007-01-03T18:16:00.000-08:00

Today we visited a radiologist to get the trans-vaginal ultrasound. Trans-vaginal scans are usually prescribed for early pregnancies or to diagnose ectopic pregnancies, tumors or cysts.

After inserting a large probe (easier than expected), we all watched the screen. The screen looked like a TV with bad reception -- a lot of snow. At least one or two minutes ticked by and neither the Doctor nor nurse showed any expression or said anything as they watched, so I started to worry.

Me: "Is it ectopic?"

Dr. S: “Are we LOOKING for an ectopic pregnancy??”

Me: "I don't think so..."

Dr. S: “Women these days! They get pregnant, read books and horror stories on the internet, and before they’ve had their first formal doctor visit, they’ve prepared themselves for every disaster! Millions of women get pregnant every year. It’s a perfectly normal process and there is no reason to assume the worst!”

Moments later a picture came into view and we were surprised to see what looked a black bubble with a 'bean' inside that had a large head and four appendages – little arms and legs! Dr. S said “There is the baby, and there is the heart beating!”. I felt such overwhelming relief that there was really a baby there, I started to cry and found it difficult to continue looking at the screen. This was the first time since we discovered I'm pregnant that we could see the baby and hear it, so it is starting to feel real.

Dr. Subramanyam activated a ruler on the screen to take measurements of the fetus, and indicated we were 10 weeks along. The due date is listed as June 15, 2007.

This surprise ranks second only to discovering the pregnancy last week. Within a few seconds of receiving this news, we realize I have been pregnant since slightly before our wedding in September. Immediately, I started reeling through the things I'd done since September and October that I wouldn't have done if I'd known I was pregnant: drank at the wedding, drank a bit over the honeymoon, took a fair amount of flu medicine/decongestant in Sydney in order to clear my ears for the flights back to the U.S....etc. These got filed in my head as things to raise with a doctor as soon as we find one.

The doctor gave us a print of the sonogram. Our first baby picture!
Nickname for baby is ‘Bean’ (aka 'the bean'), and 'it' looks like E.T.

Pictures: me at 10 weeks; sonogram of the Bean at 10 weeks

Pregnancy Confirmed (Tuesday, 14 November 2006)

2007-01-03T18:14:00.000-08:00

Today Michael and I went to see Dr. Capalbo, a gynecologist, to get confirmation of the pregnancy and a pelvic exam. A nurse ushered us into an exam room, requested a urine sample to confirm the pregnancy, and took my vitals (blood pressure 120/80, weight 137).

A few minutes later, the nurse poked her head back in and said “Congratulations, you are definitely pregnant!”. Dr. Capalbo came in, introduced herself, and said she no longer performs deliveries so could not be our Ob/Gyn throughout the pregnancy, but would administer the first exam and order the relevant tests. She congratulated us on being pregnant, but warned us not to get our hopes up until we had passed the 12-week mark as it is possible to miscarry or experience a ‘chemical pregnancy’. On the positive side, she indicated that my pregnancy symptoms (nausea, tiredness, tender breasts) were good signs that the pregnancy was healthy. We told her we estimated we were about 5-6 weeks along based on the honeymoon dates.

She performed a PAP smear, took blood, did a manual exam and said my uterus was soft and enlarged – another good sign that the pregnancy was healthy. She prescribed a transvaginal sonogram (ultrasound) and sent us on our way, wishing us luck.

Discovery (Monday, 6 November 2006)

2007-01-03T17:51:00.000-08:00

A 5-day road trip (business) started today, and the first stop was Dallas, Texas. I woke up this morning feeling nauseous and off-kilter. Par for the course these days since we got back from the honeymoon and Sydney trip in October.

It isn't normal to be nauseous for two+ weeks. Did I catch a parasite from petting stray dogs and cats in Tahiti (honeymoon)? I haven't had a proper physical in at least 15 years. Is there something wrong with my head/brain? (Worst fear.) Before heading to the airport, decided to take a pregnancy test. This is the one positive possibility I could come up with to explain nausea, dizziness, and the need to pee frequently that I can diagnose from home.

For the test I took, a positive result would reveal two lines, and a negative result would show one line. My test stick showed two lines, but one line was very faint, so it was difficult to interpret the result.

After landing in Dallas and checking into the hotel, I went to a pharmacy and bought a variety of pregnancy tests, including a test with a digital readout that would say either “pregnant” or “not pregnant”. No room for confusion with that one.

$110 dollars, 20 minutes in the bathroom, and 4 pregnancy tests later, all said ‘positive’!

SO excited but struggling to believe this! The medical information about fertility for women over 35 indicates that it can take longer to conceive, so Michael and I expected to ‘try’ for at least 6-12 months, or possibly even need fertility treatments. We haven't started ‘trying’ yet. Hard to believe this has happened so fast. While hugely excited, am trying not to get hopes up until this is confirmed and we get through the first three months. If it is true, we are lucky.

Also realized that the honeymoon could now be the first and last big trip we took (and will take?) as a married couple without any big responsibilities… There could be three of us before the first wedding anniversary.

The first call was to my parents. Dad answered his cell phone and said they were on a shopping trip at IKEA. Mom and Dad sounded truly pleased and excited by the news (though not nearly as surprised as we are?!).

The next phone call was to Michael, who is on a business trip this week. He was thrilled, but we agreed to see a doctor before getting our hopes up.

Lastly, I rang Emma, who became a close friend after I moved to New York. She married Alan in California and they moved to New York a few months after I arrived in New York in 2005. Emma and I miss California and bonded over the challenges of trying to find a routine and a new circle of friends in NY. Emma was my sidekick to find a wedding dress, and has been a great friend this first bumpy year in Manhattan. She and Alan have a handsome boy - Senan - who will celebrate his first birthday early next month. She was very excited for us, encouraged me to make a doctor appointment as soon as possible, and told me what to expect on the first visit.